What was I thinking?
by OKDR
Summary: After the events of chapter 194 there are some questions that don't let Kyoko Mogami stand still... And her senpai, Ren Tsuruga is starting to loose it. With the knowledge that this manga main plot will take longer to get settled, here's my feelings on how the story could go, concerning Ren's issues, Kyoko's issues, and why Sho Fuwa's like their trigger.
1. 1-Out of role

**| This story begins right after the chapter 194. This is the first time I am doing this for any published story. All my fics are usually inspired by idols, not by manga or books characters, but the last 3 years of Skip Beat! have been a torture, I needed to free out my imagination for once, and I can only do this while writting.|**_  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, those are copyrighted by Yoshiki Nakamura and her publisher.**

_What was I thinking? I nearly got trapped because of Tsuruga-san's actions. Why would he be out of his role? Or what worries me the most: Who was moving inside him? I've shouldn't left my cell-phone on but, even with that big mistake I made, I can't help but wonder and worry about Tsuruga-senpai's reaction. It was like that other time, when he filmed that scene as BJ… Thank God I reacted and I didn't spill out of Setsu's character. I'd been completely lost if I had._

Kyoko was hiding inside the small restroom the room she's sharing with her senpai while playing the Heel siblings. Her legs were shaking, her face was sweating cold, but she still was amazed at how she had conducted the whole scene. Obviously, she had pissed Ren Tsuruga by being seen in company of that punk; Her senpai despised the fact someone like Sho Fuwa had been the wrong cause for her to enter the showbiz, and he was so disappointed on her, Kyoko was sure of that. However, that wouldn't explain why he had been so out of himself, mad because she had received a call that was, probably, coming from the above mentioned punk. That had been the first time the man, Ren Tsuruga, seemed to be hiding inside had cornered her.

_I am sure now: I've seen that aura showing up through Tsuruga-san's eyes before. What if I hadn't reacted? Why was he so lost when I kept on being Setsu?_

Kyoko approached the basin, got a fresh rush of cold water and stared at her glimpse on the mirror. She was trying to stand still. The emotions she had just experienced were beyond her capabilities. The scene was replaying on and on in her mind: she had switched positions with whoever was occupying Tsuruga-san's body, when he should be just Cain Heel, her beloved brother, and without losing her cool she had continued performing Setsu, ignoring the fact that her senpai had been out of role for such a while.

"What does it matter who calls under an unknown number?" she said trying to show the ghost of a twisted smile on her lips "Aren't I here with you right now nii-chan?"

The man laying now behind her appeared to be mesmerized, Kyoko was trying not to let her real thoughts escape, she was fearing for his reaction, as she had been panicking ever since he'd been annoyed by that inappropriate phone call. She kept still, holding him down, maintaining the look of sweet-spoiled Setsu as strong as she could, to bring her dear brother back "I am you little sister" she had to keep talking, since he wasn't speaking yet "Of course you'd hate such type of un-welcome phone calls, no matter the hour" she kept staring at his eyes, until seeing what it might be a response.

"You're mine" he finally said, but, under the skin of Setsuka, Kyoko couldn't be sure that her partner was truly back on character. Amazed at how she was getting use of what she had learned on the drama school, Kyoko didn't break eye-contact with him, she didn't smile either, but gave him a look of mischief to remind her 'brother' that she was someone he needed to 'take care' of.

"Right" she said after "I am yours. No one's as important as my nii-chan" she said freeing her brother's body and standing up "I need to change into my night-wear" she started walking towards the restroom, picking up her bag, still keeping her cool and walking flawlessly, just as Setsu was supposed to do.

And that had been the scene. She had attempted to be brave, but it's because she was being Setsu that she had stood still to her senpai's behavior and Kyoko knew that if she had fallen out of her role, she'd been totally lost.

_This…_ her face was starting to transition from being shocked to get heated up by anger _This is all that rascal's fault!_ _I am being able to deal with it because I am being Setsu at the moment but… _Kyoko's face went back to despair _What am I going to do once this role is over?_ She knew that her senpai wasn't the type to let such matters go easily. He will surely be still mad, once their mission as Heel siblings would be over, he would resume his angry demands on why she was hanging on with Sho Fuwa _How dare he?_ Kyoko pressed her fists, she wanted to punch him right on his nose _How dare that rascal trick me into such a situation? _Her sight rose to meet her own eyes on the mirror, and then a flashback of what had happened on the parking lot made her whole body froze. Her hands rushed to cover her mouth, as if she wanted to suppress a horror scream. She had been dishonest to her senpai. She had said such unforgiveable things just to get rid of that punk. She shook her head; it wasn't helping her to keep getting lost on her recent memories. There was some situation she needed to deal with. She had to get back to that room and keep her 'brother' safe.

Kyoko changed into the provocative night-wear that was meant for Setsu. 'Cain' had seen it before, but why was she feeling shivers inside? At this rate I should be used to what being Setsu means but she was never comfortable wearing those clothes, it made her remind of the time when her brother had fallen asleep while holding her. She hadn't been able to sleep at all. That time he had also been out of himself, out of Tsuruga-san's self, out of even 'Cain', her beloved brother. No matter how much she tried to made it more comfortable and less provocative, she'd never felt secure while wearing that.

"Are you asleep?" She thought of coming out the restroom as casually as possible, like anything had just happened. He was sitting on the bed where that had been confronting one other, with a gloomy shadow coming from his eyes "Oh, you're still awake" she raised her hand to touch his face, as a caring gesture that Setsu would normally have for someone like her beloved nii-chan before going to sleep "You shouldn't be messing around the night before a shooting" She approached his face while her hand was leaving his "I am exhausted, I am going to sleep" she said feeling the risk that he might do something weird and aggressive again. Kyoko turned away and walked slowly until reaching her bed. She didn't want to look back at him, she needed to smoothly get between the sheets of her bed, as if that was her safety place, ignoring that he might be still staring her, perhaps not being back on character, perhaps just trying to do his role. _Why on Earth has Ren Tsuruga stepped out his role?_ She asked herself again while covering her head with the sheets.


	2. 2-In her role

_I am an idiot!_

Bringing his right hand over his forehead, face-palming himself, Ren Tsuruga was ashamed of the events that had just occurred. He had let his jealousy open Pandora's box.

He's been out for a long time. Too much time… what would've I've done if she hadn't kept playing Setsu?

He was afraid of what he'd done if it hadn't been for her kouhai's skills of not letting her role slip even once. Kyoko was evolving into a fine actress, son she might get out of his league. Was that the reason why he was panicking so much?

_You can't let that punk's actions affect you this much. You nearly let Ren Tsuruga die under Kuon's soul._

He was going crazy. He had completely lost his focus, his goal of surpassing his father, his need to succeed as the best actor Japan had ever seen taking on the whole World. Lately, he'd been yielding to the idea of not hiding anymore the fact he was interested in Kyoko Mogami. First it had been because of that Kijima pestering her around, getting on his nerves because he might get advantage of Kyoko's innocence, before he could even settle his own feelings for her… and then it had been that punk: Sho Fuwa showing up again, just when he thought he'd be gone for good.

_I knew that he wouldn't let Kyoko alone_

He was staring at the ceiling with his soul lost into tribulations. Was it Kuon? Or was it Ren the one fighting for his feelings? He had believed that Kuon was someone unable to love again, someone scary, someone who was dark and murderous. Why had he got the impression that Kuon had been occupying his body while raging up on Kyoko's inappropriate phone call? Was it because he knew for sure that Sho Fuwa was the one behind that call?

_I can't stand any men interfering when she's with me_

He surprised himself with that last thought. Jealousy was blinding him so much.

_I've got a weakness_

Jealousy was bringing Kuon back. That girl, Kyoko, she could bring Ren back and she could bring Kuon back…

_So many different emotions she provokes me_

She was his illness and its cure, all at once. But that was just because he knew the dangers that Sho Fuwa attained for her. He was hoping that she would heal of the wound he'd caused her once, yet, he knew that Kyoko was miles away of being ready to open her heart again to any emotions further than friendship.

_I am a monster…_

He tried getting back to his senses sitting on the verge of that bed, now staring at the door that was hiding his kouhai. Ren wasn't sure of how long he would be able to keep Kuon locked away, the Heel siblings pantomime wasn't helping him after all. He was portraying BJ's role thanks to that, and Setsu was the talisman that avoided him to get lost into Kuon's darkness, but when they were alone, he wasn't sure that he could keep his real feelings for her. He needed Kyoko, he wanted her, and even when he had been trying to deny those feelings, suppress them and not make a pass on her, lately he'd been hardly keeping his promise to not let his feelings ruin him.

_How will I regain my strength? Right now I nearly did something unforgiveable to her. What if she hadn't switched positions and kept being Setsu? Ren, you can't keep getting affected by your feelings for her, you should concentrate on this role, wrap it up, and get back to your normal life as an actor, at least until you reach your goal._

But he knew that would be difficult, the more he kept advancing into his career, the more he got attached to Kyoko Mogami and the more he got involved with her, the more he was risking his past to catch up with his present. It wasn't just because of the BJ role, no. Kuon was starting to appear because he was losing himself into Kyoko Mogami.

"Are you asleep?" her voice was bringing him back to the reality they had both created as playing the Cain siblings role. He kept staring at her, not saying a thing "Oh, you're still awake" as she raised her hand to touch his face, he kept sitting still despite the fact he couldn't help but melt inside "You shouldn't be messing around the night before a shooting" her face was getting close as her hand was slowly slipping from his "I am exhausted, I am going to sleep" he kept watching 'Setsu' walk flawlessly until reaching her bed. He had made such efforts to not stop her from leaving his side, he wanted to fall asleep while holding her, like he had done once, so bad.

_I need to get inside my bed, as nothing had happened. Obviously she's been Setsu all the time along, just like that day when she played an oujo-san from a Tea-House, she kept on her role until hearing the director saying 'cut', probably she's not even thinking about if I really slipped on my 'Cain' role or not._

He did what he had suggested to himself, amazed by the power Kyoko Mogami had as an actress. Soon she'd be out of his reach…

_What am I going to do?_


	3. 3-The Cain siblings game

"Nii-chan?" Kyoko wasn't that sure of whether she should get that close to her 'brother', but since she was being Setsu, she had to wake him up as Setsu would. Before her eyes, the man who was sleeping reacted to her sweetened voice by opening his eyes slowly "You should wake up, there's a filming to do" she smiled, just as Setsu would smile, with a twisted intention showing on the corner of her lips, that was the teasing game the Heel siblings were supposed to have. She had a brother complex, and he couldn't help but be protective of his little sister. Maybe if she kept playing her role as she was supposed to, he would be back. Kyoko wasn't sure whether the stranger she'd seen the night before inhabiting Ren Tsuruga's body was completely gone or not, and she didn't want to see him appear during the filming he had that day.

The dazzling smile that he drawn with his lips startled her, it wasn't the Ren Tsuruga's usual relaxed smile, nor the one of the Emperor of the Night she was now used to, but a mischievous smile, like he was trying to bring 'Cain's character some place he'd never been before. She concentrated to not space out _Don't blink, don't back off, wait for his reply_ she told herself. It wasn't easy to perform Setsu after all what had happened the day before, but wouldn't fail this test.

"Will you feed me breakfast?" he said while her face was still a few inches away of his.

_Breakfast? Since when does Cain Heel care to eat?_

Kyoko was certain of one thing: Cain Heel's role carried on the bad habits his senpai, Ren Tsuruga, had for meals. Being asked for breakfast was some sort of a new weird way for teasing Setsu?

"I'll do as my nii-chan wishes" she said parting her face from the proximity of his. She was about to stand up and leave him get out of bed, but his hands grabbed her right wrist.

"Remember" he said while she couldn't hide the shock that action caused on her "You're mine"

"I am yours, of course, nii-chan" she said like nothing. _Who else's?_ She wanted to add, but she kept that last thought quiet. She didn't want to step on such troubled waters.

She waited for him to get showered, dressed, and ready. She had thought of going for breakfast before he could be awake, but she had thought carefully on that matter, and she had reached the conclusion that 'Cain' wouldn't fancy the idea of Setsu being out on her own, even if it was already on the morning, especially after what he had stated last night, and she had just been told about it again: _I am his_.

Kyoko's whole body trembled while replaying that sentence. Even if they were the Cain siblings, she was starting to get affected by the role way deeper than she'd been before. She had always been able to switch off after playing a character but, for the first time, the things that Setsu was experiencing were crossing over Kyoko's real life emotions.

_Is it because he seems to be getting lost, getting out of his role? Who's the soul that keeps showing up?_

Kyoko spent the all the way to the convenience store over-thinking. He was there right besides her, watching her silently, but she couldn't stop analyzing everything.

_Why if she loses it again during today's filming?_

She had to make sure that he wouldn't cast her away during the filming, even if he insisted, because she was afraid that if she couldn't be there, he might get that mysterious dark side take over the situation again.

She entered the convenience store trying to distract herself with the most suitable things for her dear brother's breakfast. He kept waiting on the counter, watching her close but not saying a word. Kyoko could feel how his eyes were pinned on her, not losing sight of what she might be doing, and those words kept hammering inside her brain "_You're mine_"… She tried not to shiver in public, she didn't want to switch off Setsu's character, she needed to keep the carefree, spoiled brat, game up.

_This is the first time I am facing such difficulties to play a role that I was supposed to get already handled. He is truly a co-star killer._

But Kyoko couldn't fool herself further than that. Deep inside, her instincts were starting to show, even with her innocence, she could feel that her difficulties weren't caused by Tsuruga's killer lead.

"We'll be taking these" She said while placing the shopping basket on the counter, not even looking at the clerk but directing her attention to her beloved brother. She kept her eyes fixed on his, watching him pay for the food she had selected. They didn't have a kitchen on that small room, so they would have to eat the convenience stores' ready-made food. Something that Kyoko would've never allowed, but perhaps Setsu could.

When he had paid, she didn't wait for him to take the bags and started walking through the store's door, knowing that he would be just carrying the bags, and walking behind her. That was the right way to keep their Heel siblings game up.

_But… what will I do when the game is over?_


	4. 4-Ren's fading away

Ren Tsuruga had never felt that much of a fraud. His days had never been as long as that one. He had woken up revealing much more than he wanted, tried playing the 'Cain siblings' game as he had accompanied her to the convenience store, over-stepped his chances while getting fed his breakfast, and kept getting NG's while filming under BJ's role. For once, he had nearly exposed himself and his role of Cain Heel, but that girl had brought him back, once more.

The cold water of the shower was helping him place all the scenes from that day in his mind but, no matter how many segments he got coming in and out, he always got back to the moment he'd opened his eyes to find Kyoko's face disguised as Setsu waking him up.

_I couldn't lock Kuon away_ Ren Tsuruga was replaying the moment when he had taken Setsu's wrist to remind her that she was his. He was so sure that the feelings he had for Kyoko Mogami were dangerously waking his past self. He had been present that morning, and he had come back after a few NG's, just because she had approached him with Setsu's special way of comforting "_I want to see my nii-chan, and only my nii-chan_" she had told him while passing on a soda, and Ren had understood that she was passing on the message that he wasn't keeping on character at all. He spacing out was the cause of those much NG's, and Setsu was right, he needed to be Cain Heel if he wanted to finish with that. The challenge of playing a role that could bring back such buried darkness needed to be wrapped as soon as possible.

_I didn't want to face Kuon again, but why do I get the feeling that I shall face him now?_

Ren knew that even if he finished the shooting of the movie in a couple of days, getting rid of Kuon wasn't an option anymore.

_I was a fool to think that I would be able to bury him forever. _

He had realized, after acknowledging that it was Kyoko the one who provoked Kuon's arousal once more, that he would have no choice but fight that demon.

_How can she be that much into her role? Today she completely reversed the roles with me: I was completely led by her. She's no longer that inexperienced girl who easily got tricked by my acting…_ Ren's frustration wasn't fading under the cold water. He decided to finish his shower and try to get dressed into more comfortable clothes. He was afraid of what he could be capable of doing after leaving the restroom, knowing that she was already desired but other men out of those walls, suspecting that Sho Fuwa still wanted to toy her, perhaps even started to fall for her, Ren was afraid that he wouldn't be able to contain himself. Or was it Kuon the one he wouldn't be able to contain?

"I've ordered some proper food, nii-chan" She said after he got back to their room "I can't allow you to eat that much ready-made food" He could sense how she was applying Kyoko's sense for proper meals into Setsu's brother's over-care. He find it wise to not reply, keep himself silent and just sit down, with the towel still covering his recent-showered hair "Shall I dry your hair, nii-chan?" she asked, but she wasn't asking permission at all, her hands were already grabbing the towel and drying out the wetness. He closed his eyes, trying to stand still, but so many emotions were already disturbing his insides.

The door rung just in time "That might be what I've ordered. Could my nii-chan answer the door?" She said taking away that towel with her inside the restroom. He stood up, opened the door and attended the delivery boy that had brought some chicken with noodles and drinks. He paid him, as Setsu would've been expecting and went back inside after dismissing the boy.

"Leave those on the table" she said referring to the small table that was at one side of the room "I am going to finish your hair with the hairdryer. I don't want my nii-chan catching a cold"

_Why has she to be so much caring? Even if she's playing Setsu I don't think I can stand it any longer_ But he limited to seat back to into the corner of his bed and wait for Setsu and the dryer to come his way. It was sinful, but he was so enjoying the moment, even if the risk of letting Kuon out was there, her soft hands touching his hair along with the warm of the dryer were making it the best part of that tedious day.

"Here" she said when she decided she had dried his hair enough. She had taken the chicken with noodles from the table and was attempting to feed him with the chopsticks. That was his fault: he had made her feed him the breakfast like this, so now Setsu had to feed him the dinner the same way "My nii-chan needs to be fed".

_Is she really that much into the role of Setsu that she cannot realize of how much she's risking her own integrity?_ But Ren's thought quickly got casted away as soon as he opened his mouth to swallow the goods she was offering him. Not knowing how, Ren was fading away, Cain was no longer in the room…


	5. 5-Dessert

Setsu was more a façade than ever. For the first time since she started this venture into the showbiz as being an actress, Kyoko was conscious under her character's skin. She had been watching her senpai the whole day, knowing that he wasn't able to keep on his role of Cain Heel.

_I was so afraid the first time I met with Cain, he scared the guts out of me, but now I am certain that is not the character who I am afraid of. There's someone else in there, someone moving within' Tsuruga-san, and I believe that he's more a part of himself than an actual role_.

Kyoko wasn't aware of how much his senpai occupied her thoughts. She had completely forgotten about what had caused last night's scene, but was only focusing on keeping her senpai in his role.

"_I want to see my nii-chan, and only my nii-chan_" She had dared to pass on a message under Setsu's skin, she wondered if he would realize that his kouhai was misbehaving and letting her own personality speak, but she needed him to get a hold of himself and finish that filming. Even if she cherished the moments she had spent developing Setsu along with her admired senpai, she knew that the filming should be wrapped for good.

_I wish I could help him better… maybe get him to tell me about what's troubling him, why it seems there's someone else inside him… I am the only one who's seen the real Ren Tsuruga, who's suffered his real self, but even for me, this spirit that seems to show through his eyes, is a complete stranger._

She had decided to keep on pushing Setsu's brother complex to the extreme, perhaps this way she would distract the stranger and get the real Ren Tsuruga focused on just being Cain Heel, her brother. For a couple of hours, she forgot herself again and became Setsu, she ordered food, and she had dried her beloved nii-chan's hair with her own hands and the hairdryer she had borrowed from Muse, just to feel the joy of being that close to him. That was purely Setsu, but she was still feeling that her nii-chan wasn't there. As the other times she had realized that Ren Tsuruga had dropped the role, he kept on speaking in Japanese, only that for this time, the man sitting before her wasn't Ren Tsuruga either.

"My nii-chan needs to be fed" she had grabbed the chicken with noodles and was now pouring it inside 'Cain's mouth, carefully, with her chopsticks, as if she was feeding a child. He seemed to follow her lead, swallowing every piece she introduced inside him, but his eyes revealed a troubled man.

"Is it good?" She teased faking to take the food away from him. She kept staring at him as Setsu, but she wasn't sure that the man who returned her glare was Cain.

"Will you feed me dessert too?" Setsu took this as a 'yes' and a sign that, whoever was replying on Cain's behalf, wanted more of that little sister's care.

"I don't know" She kept teasing "nii-chan has to eat this first" she smiled nastily as she put one more spoon inside his mouth. He swallowed it and waited for Setsu's next move. She managed to finish feeding her brother, yet, she had to have dinner herself. Setsu cleared the remains of Cain's dinner, and took hers.

"Shall I feed you as well?" Setsu froze for a second. Was it really her brother? Or that stranger was also treating her as the spoiled little sister?

_Is he for real?_ Setsu kind of went pale while she was still picking up her dinner and he couldn't see her face.

"I can feed myself, nii-chan" Setsu tried answering as fast as possible "You shouldn't do extra-efforts, you still have a lot to deal with tomorrow" she got out of the situation that smoothly. She heard him opening his mouth, maybe to say something, and only let some air escape. Setsu started eating her chicken with noodles and when she was done, she felt how his hands took away the dinner box from hers.

"Won't you give me my dessert?" he was serious. Oh yes, he was. But… what did he actually want?

"I didn't order it, nii-chan" she put on a mischievous look, like she was waiting for her brother to just forgive this little mistake "I promise you that tomorrow I will"

_Of course, a sister who feeds his brother and has such a complex should spoil him with a very sweet dessert… but… _Setsu blanked because she didn't want to let Kyoko finish the sentence for her. Kyoko would had said that Ren Tsuruga doesn't like sweet things that much, that's why she never gave him chocolates on Valentine's Day, that and because he had already dozens of boxes from admirers, acquaintances and actresses he had worked with. Tsuruga-san wouldn't have taken any sweets for a desert, but she would've insisted on making him eat some fruits, or something else that was healthy… but Cain? _I've should had prepared something suitable for dessert_ "I am such an un-caring sister, forgive nii-chan"

"Nevermind" he took her from her left wrist and made her stand, gently but with a fierce look on his eyes "Let's go to sleep" Setsu felt how her whole skin shivered. For the second time, he took her in his arms and carried her to his bed.

_Is he going to fall asleep keeping me prisoner with his right arm? Again? _Setsu remembered the last time such a thing had occurred to her. His arms were cold, icy, just like the other time, just like when he had that accident while doing his stunts for Dark Moon… _Where have you gone, senpai?_


	6. 6-Breakfast

He woke up the next morning finding Kyoko between his arms. This time, he had fell asleep like the last one, but he didn't know how, he had ended up hugging Kyoko with both arms.

_Will she really be asleep? The last time she didn't get any sleep, I had to insist she stayed on the resting room of the set._

Ren sighed, he had fallen asleep as Kuon, but her magic had brought Ren back to the morning. He felt the confidence of returning to Cain's role before she opened her eyes.

_I guess I won't be able to cast Kuon away. He will keep coming, in and out the set._

Ren knew that the character of Cain and the role he had as BJ were bringing back the darkness of Kuon's adolescence, but he had been able to control him because of Setsu's role. Kuon had only been appearing on set until he had seen her in that Sho Fuwa's company.

_So, accepting my feelings for her will have this sort of consequences? Am I going to be raging up anytime he haunts her?_

Perhaps Ren's possessiveness was because Kuon felt this way towards Kyoko.

_It must be that. Otherwise, he'd never shown after that incident._

Kuon had shown out of jealousy, but he had also shown out of his desire for her. Ren had been thinking about Kyoko's ability to keep on playing Setsu without letting her own self show up, and then, mistaking Setsu's actions for Kyoko's, Kuon had appeared again, when he should had been Cain and only Cain.

I wanted her as my desert… NO. Kuon wanted her as his desert.

Ren stared at her innocent face, apparently sleeping she was, and his heart started hammering under his chest.

_I did want her for dessert. And I would have her for breakfast now…_

His eye-balls widened and his pupils dilated, realizing of how bad his problem was. He had chosen a path he wouldn't be able to turn back from.

_Cain wouldn't have those thoughts, he would just think his little sister is cuter when she's asleep, and that it's a pity to wake her up…_

Ren concentrated and suppressed the urge he had to take advantage of her while she seemed to still be sleeping.

"Setsu" he called her, with Cain's accurate English "We should wake up" He kept staring at her, but switching into Cain's eyes. She wasn't answering to his call, perhaps she was truly asleep "Setsu?" his right hand caressed her cheek, then he felt how her face muscles tightened and he saw her eyes opening slowly. Her first glare was of fear, but the girl was way too amazing for a current actress, she quickly switched her glare into Setsu's.

"Nii-chan?" she smiled "Have you slept well?" she said still being inside his embrace. Setsu dared to take the skin-ship further, and she placed her left hand onto his forehead "Shall we go out for breakfast?"

_I rather had it right here, right now_ Ren and Kuon said at the same time. But Cain couldn't allow those words to be heard, not even to be noticed under his eyes. He set Setsu's body free and woke up from that bed "I'll shower first, and then we'll go for breakfast" and he disappeared inside the restroom.

_What are we doing? _And for the first time, Ren acknowledged that he was also depriving his thoughts, getting infected by Kuon's sould, perhaps.


	7. 7-Ice-Cream

Setsu kept supervising her brother's work from behind the cameras. She kept away from the rest of the cast and only attended his brother's demands. Inside, she was still Kyoko, taking that time she didn't have to interact from close with Cain to review what had happened the last night.

_I feel like I slept with a stranger, yet, I felt too close to that stranger. Is it because I already ended up trapped under Tsuruga-san's arms that last time?_

Kyoko's mind was a complex race of her little spirits, horrified, yelling and screaming because they were realizing that Kyoko had gone too far this time.

_How could I fell asleep that easily?_ In fact, she had been panicking ever since Tsuruga-san had taken her with his arms and placed her on his bed, covering her body with his arm, just like that other night. She knew that he wasn't Cain not Ren, but that other spirit that seemed to appear at the worse times. His hands and his whole body were ice cold, and he was shaking, but as he had entered the bed with her, he started warming up. She tried not to stare at him and wait until he fell asleep. The silence was killing her, she was preparing to count fairies again, hoping to not feel too exhausted the morning after, and then, when she was lost in her own worries, she heard it again:

"You're mine" Setsu was starting to get familiar to that claim of his "Kyoko"

_WHAT?_

Kyoko's eyes opened wide, she had heard it, yet, she refused to believe it.

_What would Cain Heel say my name afterwards? Why would even Tsuruga-senpai say it? This must definitely be that spirit, and he may be evil! _

She turned her head to see his face, perhaps he wasn't asleep at all, he might be just teasing her.

_Maybe that's the Emperor of the Night! He'll just say 'I've got you' again, and smile nastily, that Playboy!_

But he didn't. Besides her, Ren Tsuruga's body, disguised as Cain Heel, was profoundly sleeping. Kyoko's worries deepened. She wanted to know what was really going on with her senpai.

_If I could meet him as Bo… maybe…_ Kyoko was slowly forgetting about the importance of the words she had just heard to focus only into her senpai's apparent troubles _But there's no way he would speak to Bo about a thing like this. I am sure that he was just joking, and then he fell asleep._

That was Kyoko's innocence. She wasn't a fool, but she was innocent due to her declaration to keep herself out of anything involving love. There was no way that her mind could put that one and one together, not at this rate.

Another day of filming was gone, and Cain didn't lose a minute to get Setsu away from the curiosity of his cast partners.

"Come on" he said making Kyoko vanish under Setsu's mask again "We'll pick up some food in our way home"

Setsu smiled as she was supposed to. They got away from the set and stopped at a little restaurant to pick some Gyudon. Everything went as normal as for the Cain siblings should usually be: they reached their room, he showered, Setsu settled the dinner and he got out expecting to be fed. She hesitated whether to keep on with that game or not, but Setsu had already established and maintained it, so she had to continue with her duties and help Cain get feed. He didn't insist this time to feed her back, but waited for Setsu to finish her dinner and claim for the desert.

_I chose some ice-cream because it reminded me of him: it's cold but as soon as it gets 'touched' it melts down._

"Come here" Setsu was carrying the ice-cream and the spoons, but Cain grabbed her and made her sit on his lap "Nii-chan will feed you this"

_Cain?_ Setsu thought. But Cain had gone more time.

She didn't protest, she felt it safer if she played along but tried to re-conduct the situation by keeping her role as Setsu as strong as she had the previous times. However, as soon as he started pouring the cold ice-cream with the spoon inside her mouth, she felt electricity running through her spine.

_Why am I feeling like this? Setsu should be pleased to be playing her brother like a fool, but she should also get the knowledge of where the limits are, even if she's such a weirdo with a big brother complex._

Setsu closed her mouth and savored the lemon-flavored ice-cream melting all over her tongue. He slipped out the spoon carefully from her mouth, dug it inside the terrine and poured a new portion inside his own mouth. She had to make so many efforts to not get paralyzed and keep being Setsu.

_If it wasn't for this whole role, I'd been thinking that he wanted to share an indirect kiss with me._

But Kyoko was still not ready to see the reality of her partner's actions.


	8. 8-Melting

**|First, I wanna thank you for the quick and warming reply from some of this site members already following my story and giving me good feedback.**

**I am aware that my English is limited, I can write but my lyrical skills are not the ones of a native, so my language becomes repetitive and evolves way too slowly. However, I do have confidence in the way I have to display the stories I create or that things like Skip Beat! inspire me.**

**I tend to drop a lot of my writting works, and I also tend to continue those that are way too irregular... however, I am determined to finish this one, and I want to try not to extend too much with the chapters. I do know that when fics are too long, people get tired of reading those, perhaps because reading on screen is more tiring.**

**As you can see, I am teasing nearly as Nakamura-sensei would. That's because I am trying to not get Out of Character, I trully need to imagine what a possible plot for the real Skip Beat! could be, even with my self-implied desires This means that even when we all would want to rush the main characters to do those things we would want to, I simply can't because Kyoko is Kyoko and Ren is Ren. I cannot imagine them saying the things we want them to say the way we would just say those.**

**Also, I am taking after chapter 194, but this manga's archs are so slow to develope, and there are so many issues that must be solve before we ever see what we nearly all want to see (except for those rooting for other Kyoko's OTP's, of course). I am just tired of the whole Ren's situation, he should've be on the next stage, already. Even if Nakamura-sensei wants to keep his secret from Kyoko, I do believe that he should be completing this 'Cain Heel' challenge (how long had we been in this stage?) and start dealing with the real stuff concerning his past self. If he doesn't do this, there's no way we can see anything seriously real with Kyoko. That's if Nakamura-sensei wants to grant us this wish, of course.**

**I am also aware that with my fic, I'll be rushing some things I wouldn't. I am considering just settling part of the issues with this fic and make a second part that begins a couple of years afters this one ends. I don't know yet... I just don't know. When I write, I don't plan things, I let just the things come through my typing to the extent the story ends up controling me and I am a mere reviewer.**

**I am sorry for the long free-talk, but I felt the need to explain before going any further.**

**This is today's last update, I promise I'll try finishing this fic over this week.**

**Thanx for following it!**

**Rei|**

Ren and Kuon, both, were enjoying their time: after a long day of filming, a comforting shower and a nice dinner fed by Setsu, they were pushing on their limits by playing with her while feeding her their dessert.

_I am lost. I have completely surrendered into Kuon's wishes, and the worst is that I also wanted to do it…_

Ren was trying to make it all sound as Cain's act, but he knew that Setsu would sense there wasn't a trace of her brother in there.

They kept teasing her with the spoon filled with ice-cream that, at times went into her mouth, at times went at his. And Ren could feel how Setsu was slowly losing herself into the game.

_She's truly amazing, if she was really just Kyoko, she'd been jumping out of the room at the first moment I'd grabbed her and placed on my lap._

But even with the joy of the game, Ren was scared. He had succumbed into Kuon's ideas and he felt that he wouldn't be able to stop, not until the Heel siblings act would be called off.

Setsu took the terrine from his hands as soon as she had seen they had finished it, and rushed to get up and away of her brother's lap.

_So smart, she has allowed me to play with the desert, but she doesn't want anything else to happen, I can see as far as that._

"I am going to…" He didn't let her finish that sentence with the word 'sleep'. He knew that she would attempt to get away and hide inside her bed sheets before he could grab her a third time into his. He took her from the arm and didn't let her think.

"Let's go to bed" he said grabbing her with his cold touch. Kuon was so daring and Ren thought that if she had been able to sleep the night before, why not risk it once more? That was his way to start marking her all over, placing such memories inside her brain, that not even after becoming Kyoko again she would be able to forget.

_I must take advantage of this time we're spending alone and away of anyone else. I won't allow that punk to continue residing on her mind. I must erase his presence from her._

But he also knew that allowing Kuon to appear that much on her presence wasn't the best way to deal with his dark past. Up until then it was only mischievous, but why if he became violent? Why if he attacked Kyoko?

He placed Setsu inside his bed and this time he didn't just pressured her body with the right arm, but he resumed his morning position by bringing her close with an embrace. Ren felt her body tremble inside his arms and he pushed her closer, his right hand run up her back until reaching her wig. He thought that it was a shame not to be touching her real hair, but that would just do. The warmth was returning to his body as Kuon seemed to be backing up, startled by what her proximity caused him.

_I won't let you hurt her, EVER, do you hear me Kuon?_

_I don't think I ever dared to hurt her…_ Kuon replied.


	9. 9-Wrapping Up 1

_How could I do it again?_

Kyoko was spacing out at the set, while Cain was doing his last stunts for the filming. That would be the last day they would be under the Heel siblings' skin.

_How could I fell asleep while he was holding me? Am I getting used to Setsu's brother's doings? Was this really Cain's act? Or the stranger was the one who wanted to use me as a stuffed animal?_

Kyoko's innocence made her stay in denial, the only way she could see what she had been doing on the past days while sleeping was playing the role of a stuffed animal. She had convinced herself that whoever was inside Tsuruga-san's body, needed something like a stuffed animal to warm himself up. However, every time they returned to the set, she could see that there was something else. Something dark and troublesome that was pushing her senpai to be like this.

_I got the idea of feeding me desert in such a way. After all, it was another way for Cain to tease her little sister, but… why go to the extent of acting just like Setsu would? This wasn't like the first time we went out for clothes, or like the times I'd been alone with Ren Tsuruga, the person that's supposed to be acting under Cain Heel's mask. I can feel how my senpai is fading away, and that scares me._

And what was preoccupying her most was the fact she'd been sleeping that carefree inside that stranger's arms. She kept watching the last scene, when BJ falls from a high spot and seems to vanish. Her senpai would do the stunts himself and fall from such a height.

_I wonder if I'll see it again, that smile, the one he shown the day he was doing the stunts with Murasame-san. When this whole act is over, I need to get to the bottom of this. I need to know what's going on with Tsuruga-san._

Kyoko couldn't just let him alone. She thought that it was her duty to find out, because she had seen it, and because if it had been Moko-chan or any of her friends, she'd done the same.

She watched how Cain run over the set, on a scenario that had been prepared to appear as a skyscraper, while the role Murasame-san was playing kept shooting him, then it was the turn for BJ's role to stand on the edge of the roof get a final shot and fall backwards into the ground. It was a Blue Screen stunt, but even with the effects, the set was settled as a high spot, and Cain would have to fall several feet under until getting stopped by the safety cushions, so he needed to perform the stunt perfectly well.

"Die!" Murasame's character yelled, and as a final shot, he believed to kill BJ's character that showed him a final smile and fell. Kyoko's heart shrunk, she had sensed that last twisted smile's hidden violence and something like evil seemed to appear on her senpai's eyes. Once More, she waited frozen until the director yelled 'cut' and then she walked towards the body of her brother, trying to remain as Setsu as she could.

"That was brilliant" she spoke still fearing not to hear a reply. She forced herself to approach that corpse, hoping for Cain to show up, but his eyes were lost on the infinite "If you don't get up we cannot call it a day" she smiled insisting in making him react.

_This is… like that time, when he had the car accident… if I touch him now, that won't look like Setsu at all. What should I do? Please! Tsuruga-san! Cain! Come back!_


	10. 10-Wrapping Up 2

Cain Heel stood a last time portraying BJ, facing the man who pretended to finish him, so he took a last shot and smiled. But he knew that smile wasn't his, and this time he was aware that he was smiling. When he started falling, his insides battled: Tsuruga-san versus Kuon.

_"Even if you think I'll be gone, I am going to stay_" Kuon's aggressive glare was mocking him.

"_I know_" Ren Tsuruga was resigned to the idea of fighting his past.

"_You can't shut me down, Ren_" Kuon yelled "_And you won't have her forever_"

"_I can't shut you down, but… won't you miss her too?_" Ren replied, trying to be the one who handled the situation "_She made you come_"

"_And then she made me disappear_" Kuon seemed to be annoyed.

"_I won't let you hurt her_" Ren tried to stand still "_You told me you wouldn't_"

"I won't!" Kuon seemed to be confused "But she cannot stay"

"_I need her!_" Ren protested.

"_You didn't even want to accept her_" Kuon changed his anger so he could tease Ren "_And if it hadn't been for me, you'd never dared to touch her_"

"_She doesn't know we touched her. She believes it was Cain's doing, and she was Setsu at those times_" Ren didn't want to lose his calm. He needed to be on control.

"If she stays, I'll show up more often. Is that what you want, Ren?" Ren tried to avoid the confusion Kuon's words provoked, he sounded such contradictory.

"_You said you would stay_" Ren showed a ghost of a smile "_And now you say if she goes away you also will?_"

"_She will never answer your feelings_" Kuon's evasive was a sign of his weakness "_and if she does, she'll run away as soon as she finds out the truth about you_"

"_Is not my truth but yours_" Ren didn't think too much when he replied.

"_And I am YOU_" Kuon's statement left him breathless. Ren Tsuruga was lying on the safety cushions terrified by his own thoughts and the fight he was having with his own darkness. Indeed, he was Kuon.

"That was brilliant" he heard a familiar voice praising him from the distance, but he was still petrified by this last revelation.

"If you don't get up we cannot call it a day" he heard once more. He tried feeling any trace of blood running back to his body, but the cold was consuming him faster. If she wanted to rescue him, she'd need to touch him, make him come back from that state of mind that was keeping his own soul as a prisoner "Come on Nii-chan, I am hungry" he heard and, from the back of his mind, Kuon pushed his way out.

"Shall I treat you to dinner?" He whispered. Kuon saw how Setsu returned him a deep glare.

"Of course, nii-chan, we shall celebrate you're done with this movie".


	11. 11-Their last meal

That would be her last time playing Setsu, under her skin she would have a last meal with her brother and then, when they arrived to their room, she would just get her bag and leave to LME, so MUSE could help her remove from Setsu's make-up. She had passed the test of accompanying her senpai, even when at times it had been hard to tell whether he was actually there and portraying his role. Just a few minutes ago, she thought she had lost him, after falling from above for his last stunt, she couldn't get him to reply, and she knew that touching him it wouldn't be suited for Setsu. Setsu thought her brother was so strong, if she went to his rescue, the whole act would've been blown up. She had been committed to this whole pantomime but she wasn't sure why her senpai hadn't been 100% in there, and that was worrying her so much.

As a reminiscence of the Heel siblings' origins, Cain had brought Setsu into a burger, so they could eat a real American burger "How did my nii-chan know I was hungry for meat?" Setsu played the spoiled brat, one more time, not expecting a reply.

"You've been feeding me so well these days, I thought I would reward you" he replied. But Setsu noticed that he was still using Japanese. Hadn't he been behaving as Cain on the set? She was sure that he had been playing the role perfectly… but then… why was he switching to Japanese once more? The way he was forgetting to keep on his role was, indeed, alarming her. She knew that something wrong was still troubling her senpai, and now the filming was already wrapped, she couldn't understand what else could be.

"Are you worried that the movie doesn't get a good acceptance?" She dared over-stepping her role a little, just to check out if Cain was still there, or perhaps it would be Tsuruga-san out of his mask, the one to answer.

Apparently, she shocked him with this question, and caught him by surprise, as he quickly turned his head to throw a terrified look at her, just like the first time before he asked her to come into his arms. Had she touched his soft spot? Was he really afraid that the project would fail? As Setsu, she didn't know how to get out of that situation, she started regretting having done that stupid question.

"I want a burger that has all the supplements!" She decided to ignore that had just happened and got herself into the joy of eating an American Burger, hoping for him to follow her up inside the restaurant. She rushed to the counter and selected two menus, making clear that he wouldn't speak, because she was still afraid that he would mess it up.

_How can I doubt my senpai?_ Under Setsu, Kyoko had realized that she was getting cocky towards her skills _Well… this is not like doubting of his talent and experience, isn't it?_ She had never imagined that she would be the one providing the guidelines for a performance _Something's obviously wrong with him and I cannot let other people notice_.

"Does it taste good?" Setsu kept showing up, not hoping for Cain to reply but just follow up her lead. She smiled while licking her lips, cleaning the remains of some ketchup sauce. This seemed to provoke something to her partner, as he kept staring at her, not touching a piece of his dinner "Nii-chan, you should eat too" she scolded her with a childish voice, expecting for him to stop staring at her that way and begin to eat his burger. However, he kept looking at her with a mysterious look.

"Nii-chan?" She was feeling to awkward "Shall I eat your burger, then?" Setsu tried not to be protective but the little brat she was supposed to be. She was the one who needed to be spoiled, not her brother. As soon as she reached out for his burger with her right hand, he stopped her by grabbing her arm "No?" She showed him a nasty smile.

Instead of replying, he took the burger and started eating it, not taking his eyes off of her, that made her feel uncomfortable. Was that a last joke from his to give a good farewell to their role as the Heel siblings?


	12. 12-A farewell

Kuon had believed that he would be as good as Ren Tsuruga to play Cain Heel. And he had tried to get in the disguise because he knew that, in order to be with her, he should play that role. At least, he should play it for the next hours, until they returned to the siblings' room.

_Is not that hard, do you see? After all, Cain Heel is not that far from what I am._

Kuon was mentally speaking to the other part that shared that body with him, but Ren Tsuruga was watching and not answering. Perhaps he was waiting to see him mess it up.

_Is because of what Cain Heel had to portray that I could finally come back. It's a pity that the role will be over tonight_.

He kept walking with the girl accompanying him. He had told her he would treat her to dinner, an American burger, a brilliant idea to show that Ren Tsuruga that Kuon could also portray such a role. But Kuon had forgot that the appearance was also needed, and the way he kept getting lost into his own thoughts made his partner doubt him "Are you worried that the movie doesn't get a good acceptance?" she asked.

What…? Kuon had been caught by surprise, his gaze was the one of a terrified person, not knowing what to say to such a question.

_She's smarter than you think_ Finally, Ren Tsuruga had decided to speak_, She might be too innocent for a girl her age, but she is getting wiser as an actress. Of course she knows something wrong's going on._

Kuon felt so pissed off, he hated to admit that the perfect gentleman that had been depriving him to live was right.

"I want a burger that has all the supplements!" she said as getting away from his side to attack the counter. He could only follow her, as he knew he was the one paying, but didn't say a word meanwhile.

Kuon kept watching her while she ate the burger "Does it taste good?" she asked before noticing that he hadn't touched his.

_Yummy _Kuon thought.

_DON'T!_ Ren Tsuruga warned from the back of his mind.

_Don't what? Is it not what you're thinking too? You've been hoping to devour her ever since she came through your path_ Kuon had the worst ways to make Ren Tsuruga notice that, inside, he wasn't that much of a gentleman but more the playboy his kouhai claimed him to be.

"Nii-chan, you should eat too" she said again. But Kuon was battling against Ren, and if he wanted to eat, he rather ate someone else… His mind was a storm of contradictions, but he couldn't take his eyes of the girl sitting in front of him "Nii-chan?" she asked one more time "Shall I eat your burger, then?" and she attempted to steal his burger from right under his nose. Then, Kuon decided to stop her with his hand, and start eating the meal.

_You're scaring her_ Ren said.

_We both are Kuon_ showed him a twisted smile.

When he finished his menu, he stood up. Kuon was hesitating whether to kidnap her and get away, but even if he hated to do as Ren was telling him, he knew that the Heel siblings act needed to end that night. They both left the burger restaurant and headed to the room they had been occupying the last week.

"I'll leave first" she told. Deep inside, he wanted to lock the door and ignore that the act should be over. But if he had come back, he would stay, and he would have time to decide how to make her his prey, and avoid her power to make Kuon disappear.

_Let her leave_ Ren ordered. And that's what he did. Kyoko Mogami left the room dressed as Setsu, and she left behind a man who was trying to fight his own past personality.


	13. 13-Kuon

Ren Tsuruga was drinking with hopes of drowning the devil of Kuon away. He had come back to his apartment after seeing Kyoko leave, and was trying to get a resolution before he had to come back to work again.

"_Don't you understand why you cannot stay? I have work to do, I have goals… you cannot perform like Ren Tsuruga does_"

"_This is about her, isn't it?_" Kuon said "_This is not about your work or your ambitions… you know that I am perfectly capable of doing that, performing, but you just don't want the World to know that I am YOU, because you know that she will turn her back on you_"

"_WHAT_?" Ren Tsuruga was drunk, furious, but he wouldn't get fooled by Kuon "_This is not about her! This is about you being evil and dangerous!_"

"_Who gave you birth Ren?_" Kuon kept insisting to make him disappear "_Who modeled you?_"

Ren couldn't reply. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath… he knew the answer, but he didn't want to admit it, not to Kuon.

"_Why do you see me as evil, Ren?_" Kuon wanted him to speak out "What _have I done to have you wanting to lock me away that bad?_"

Ren's mouth became dry. He suddenly felt his heart stop.

"_Who met her first?_" Kuon's inquiries where fast and poisoned.

"_YOU_" Ren finally said, slowly but clear enough to be heard.

"_Then_" Kuon kept watching at him with a twisted smile "_Why do you insist in casting me away? Why don't you embrace your true nature?_"

"_Because…_" Ren was so scared to pronounce that word "_Because… you're a murderer_"

Both, Ren and Kuon froze. That was it, the cruel reality of his past, what made Kuon that much dangerous: Rick's death.

"_I…_" now it was Kuon who sounded as if he was scared of himself "_I was angry…_"

"_You killed him_" Ren said without pity "_You killed him, and you dragged me inside that darkness_"

"_That was an accident!_" Kuon yelled with all his forces. The power of that sentence made Ren's brain crash. He opened his eyes and run to the bathroom to watch his own reflection in the mirror. That had been an accident, Rick had been killed by a car, and his girlfriend had put the blame on him… but…

"_Wasn't I being bullied? Wasn't I taught to be merciless? Wasn't I pushed by Rick to be that way? He told me it would be the only way to survive. Didn't he?_" Inside his mind, a teenage Kuon was crying and, for the first time, Ren realized that he had been too harsh on the boy that had to deal with all that crap.

Kuon was right: He had been the first to meet her. He had been her reason to stop crying, and she had been his reason to believe in himself. How could he forget that? How could he only put the worst of his self into Kuon's behalf? Kuon was there when he started to be modeled as a façade to be able to reach his goal. It was Kuon, having locked his emotions away, the one who worked hard to be Ren Tsuruga. How could he deny it and not accept it?

_It was me the whole time. Me acting like I was perfect. But she knew. She can always see through me, can't she?_ Tears were now falling down Ren Tsuruga's cheeks. _I am Kuon, because Kuon grew up to be me_.

**|Well, this was the hardest part to do. I've been deciding how I should make Ren confront all this things, I first thought he would speak to Bo... then I realized he had to deal with it alone. Maybe Nakamura-sensei will add in more characters when the time comes, and I am sure that she will make it happen in a dozen chapters at least XD but that's what I always believed it was needed in order to let the story proceed: Ren realizing that he is Kuon. Kuon is portraying Ren and he's not just locked away, because Kuon was still there after Rick's accident, it was when he became afraid of himself, when he realized that he had been using violence to deal with his troubles, and because Kuon was then a teenager but he's not now. **  
**We've been told in the manga too many times about how Ren Tsuruga is just one more character he plays. That's why he becomes even more fond of Kyoko, because she can see through it but yet she still likes him and looks up at him. All I see whenever flashbacks on Kuon's past days as a teen show up is that he is traumatized but he also believes that Kuon is a devil, he's darkness that can finish him. That's what I think that Ren Tsuruga needs to deal with and become to accept: That Kuon is not bad or good, he's just someone who instead of seeking for help to cure his trauma, decided to remain silent and disguise as someone else.**

**Of course, I expect more complications coming from the original manga, but this is what will do for this fic. After all, I want to pass to what I'd like to be the next stage: Kyoko's dense mind.**

**Thanks so much for the good feedback, for selecting the story as one of your favourites and for following my account. I hope I can continue with the fic and finish it soon ;D**

**Rei|**


	14. 14-A new role

| Thanx again for all your feedback. I am glad that all the people who've commented liked the way I dealed, despite of doing way too fast, with Ren's issue. It means a lot, even when I am aware that when the real deal comes, it will become more complex and better developed XD

I am not finishing the fic here. Certainly not. :D

I'll keep developing the story until I reach that point I want to reach, that's for sure. And now, it's the turn for Kyoko's issues... let's see what the keyboard has inspired me today...|

A week had passed after Kyoko left Setsu's role behind and she hadn't seen Ren Tsuruga ever since. Not even a call she'd got from her senpai, something that used to be normal, and anytime she spoke to his manager, Yashiro-san had the weirdest excuses.

Kyoko was busy, she was attending school more often, because she would have tests soon and she was still recording for Box R. However, ever since she came back, the company had arranged a car for her, not letting her even chose or refuse with the excuse that she wasn't that important to be using a company car. She had already escaped Sho a couple of times thanks to the car, thought. Apparently, there was the order inside of LME to not let him approach her. No matter what tricks he tried, who he involved to catch her, whenever he tried to keep her from leaving the school or the studio, staff from LME stopped him by quickly escorting her inside the car.

She had tried asking the president for the reason why she was being that much guarded, but he had only answered with 'I'll let you know soon'. Something that made Kyoko nervous _Am I causing troubles for the company? _Perhaps, Tsuruga-san wasn't the only person who had seen her with that idiot of Sho, and now the company was trying to avoid a possible scandal… but she hadn't found anything about it in the media.

Kyoko urged to know what was all of that about, why she had to feel like a bird in a cage, and why her senpai hadn't contacted at all.

_Is he mad at me? Does he still hold a grudge on me because of the cell-phone incident? _

Kyoko still felt weird for the whole events occurred during her performance as Setsu. Moreover, she was unable to sleep well at nights. Whenever she fell asleep, she woke up abruptly like she was missing something.

_I feel like I had been cursed_

Kyoko wasn't eating too much either. She tried not skipping her meals, but she hardly touched the food, she got distracted and lost her appetite too often. She was starting to lose weight and even Moko-san seemed to be worried "Kyoko you should take care of yourself, you look like a ghost" but not even her crude way of always telling anything made her react. And, for the first time, she wasn't taking studying for her upcoming tests as a competition.

She had been called into the Love Me section office and she wasn't even thinking about why.

"I've got news for you, Kyoko" Sawara-san was the one in charge to speak to her "Box R will finish soon" she felt a little bit of disappointment, as she was enjoying the role of Natsu, but she also guessed that the story was coming to its end "And you're been offered not one but two new roles!" She wished to have the same spirit as her manager, she was happy but, however, she couldn't show it "Aren't you glad?"

"O..O…Of course I am" she tried, but it was too obvious that she wasn't completely well. Kyoko Mogami, at her best, she'd been jumping and having all her little spirits flying all over the place.

"Well" Sawara-san continued "One of the roles, you shall pass an audition before you can actually have it"

"An Audition?" Kyoko's senses wakened a little. This would be the first time she'd had to actually pass one for a drama, being her last the one she did with Moko-san for that commercial. She started to worry about the possibility of failing. There was still some spirit hidden inside her.

"But let's talk about the first one, since the president will speak to you about the other role later" _The President?_ Kyoko was now starting to puzzle out why all the mystery with Lory Takarada "It seems that the directors that have worked with you have spoke so well about you, that the National channel wants you for one of their minor dramas. It will be a drama for teenagers, but still, you'll be playing an important role" Kyoko's eyes shone, as if she was feeling perfectly fine. She wanted to ask if she would have the chance to be a princess this time, but Sawara-san kept speaking "It's a drama based on different high-school mangas, the idea is that is a school with a few conflicts, from bullying, to fights, with some other issues, and there's a group of main characters who get together to try to solve these troubles while they simply carry on with their high school life" Kyoko's smile kind of fade, fearing that she would be just another bully "It seems that your stylish Natsu inspired the director of these series to cast you as the female leader of the group" Kyoko was still fearing that this 'leader' would be initially a bully "so you'll be playing Saori, a girl who's equal on strength and intelligence, and they are expecting that you'll portray her well, because she's like the role model they want to show for the teenage audience" Kyoko couldn't believe it. So, she wouldn't be playing a bully?

She left the Love Me section headquarters feeling better than when she had entered. Kyoko wouldn't have the script until the next week, but she was already trying ideas for the role, she would need to read the whole thing before knowing how the character was supposed to be, but the words 'leader' and 'role model' were already inspiring her. She imagined Saori as a beautiful girl who would have both good brains and strength to not be taken advantage off, and she would be the one defending the weak and the troubled students. A dream that had just came true, even if Saori's character wasn't a princess, she felt happy. She felt the urge to pick up her phone and dial her senpai's number, but then, she remembered that he wasn't available lately, and she felt discouraged again.

_What might be he doing right now? Is he that busy that he cannot even take phone calls or mailbox messages?_ Her eyes shadowed _I shall try to communicate with Yashiro-san later, at least, he'll be glad to know the news._


	15. 15-That matter

"You surely look exhausted" Lory Takarada had took some time to visit his top actor on the set for his new commercial for a smart-phone's brand "I am amazed that you wrapped the whole special project without any incidents" he loved to tease him to the extreme, but he was actually glad that everything had turned out fine. However, he was wondering why he had no signs of the results for his real plan: he had put him together to Kyoko Mogami to see whether those two worked out their own issues, and realized what they seemed to have in between. As always, Ren Tsuruga didn't speak too much or any at all. He just sat down looking like he had been beaten up.

"President" Yashiro-san, Ren's manager had come back from the restroom "how's Mogami-san doing?" Yashiro was hoping that maybe if he brought up the matter, with the president there, Ren would stop avoiding her.

"She's fine" Lory looked to Ren from the corner of his eye "A little bit too busy, but she'll be fine. She's a strong girl, perfectly capable of taking care of herself, right Ren?" Ren threw a killing look to the company president. He knew what he had implied with that. Yashiro was completely clueless.

"She just called me about a new role she's been assigned to" Yashiro kept glaring at Ren, he knew he was carefully listening, despite of pretending not be.

"Right" the president smiled "She's going to be in a teenage drama, but this time it's going to be a bigger role and in prime-time. It's her big chance"

"She hasn't told me so" Yashiro seemed surprised "Does she know?"

"Well, she still hasn't seen the whole script. She's only been told a few necessary things on the role, I assume" Lory Takarada loved to toy with his employees, but Yashiro guessed that maybe he didn't want to make Kyoko feel the tension and the burden of such a big opportunity.

"She seemed to be happy about it, yet there was something on her voice…" Yashiro wanted to get some reaction from Ren.

"Oh well, she always gets nervous before a new role, right?" the president cut him off. Ren was still sitting with a poker face.

_I know what you two are doing… but that's not what you came here for, right?_

"Well, I shall be leaving now" Lory Takarada got ready to get back to his flashy car, one he had chosen to make an spectacular arrival to Ren's set "I just want you to know that the matter's been taken care of, and you can take that break. You better be ready, because there's more big things waiting for you, Ren" Yashiro didn't get the true meaning of the president's words, he had believed that everything was a long sentence, about something he would surely know soon "See you!"

"Ren" Yashiro looked directly at the man who was still faking to be impassive "What did he mean?"

"I am taking a break" he simply said "there are several big roles in a couple of months, and those will take a lot of effort, a lot of travelling to different places and I want to be healthy and ready. I just came out from a very exhausting role" he said, and to Yashiro it made perfect sense.

"I understand" he needed to know one more thing "Does this mean that I will be jobless for a while?"

"It will only be a month" Ren answered "But I wouldn't be sure of that, the president might have other plans for you. I am sorry Yashiro, I know how badly you wish for a vacation"

Ren felt a little bad, after all, he hadn't explained the whole meaning to the president's last words… that matter that had been taken care of… he better not tell.


	16. 16-A Big Challenge

Kyoko was waiting at the president's office. She was a little bit uneasy, since the president was making her wait and she had to go to the set of Kimagure Rock to be Bo, once again. She was trying to not pass out because she was still not sleeping properly, not eating well and getting worked out by her own schedule, when she heard some trumpets sound and a light flashed her, followed by the usual big entrance of Lory Takarada, the president of LME.

"President" she stood up and vowed.

"Good morning Kyoko" he said laughing "sit down, sit down… let's see… why are you here for?" he was faking he had forgot why she'd been called "Oh yes!" he said showing his white teeth with a wide smile "your new roles" Kyoko's eyes narrowed "I have here the script for Saori's role, the production team is still trying to chose a proper name, since they've merged a few mangas, and they have created a new story from this" he handled Kyoko the script, and she took it with shiny eyes, she couldn't wait to read it and start figuring out how she would portray Saori "but they are having high expectations on this, and your role is the key, so I am putting my trust in your hands" his smile was a little bit intimidating, Kyoko wouldn't underestimate that warning, she couldn't mess up this one "And…" Kyoko's pupils dilated, she guessed that he was about to reveal the other role "In two months, you'll be attending an audition for a new role. It's a prime time drama, settled to have a cast filled with top names only, so the results you obtain playing Saori's role will be crucial"

"I understand, sir" Kyoko lowered her sight, she was humble, but she was also ambitious to fake that she didn't want that really bad "I will portray a great Saori and make this new drama a success, I promise you that" she said. Kyoko was someone who didn't get cocky about things, but when it came to acting, she had overcome any issues that could make her be hesitating towards her commitment to play a role as the best, and that had been ever since that bet with Ruriko-san. When it came to performing a role, she was totally confident.

"There's something more" Lory Takarada interrupted her sparks of determination "the role you'll be auditioning for, requires of someone who's able to love" Kyoko's dreams of Wonderland crashed with the cruel reality, her eyes shown how much angry she was just by being reminded of the word "I am afraid that if you cannot overcome this little trouble of yours, you won't be selected. Moreover, even if they selected you, if you haven't surpassed that hatred of yours towards what loving someone means, I won't allow you to advance into that role" Kyoko felt threatened by the president's words.

_Not being able to proceed with the role? This would mean a big failure for my career… how can he be pushing me that much? _Kyoko had mixed feelings about this But, after all… _President put me into the LOVE ME section because of that. I do not want to open my heart to those feelings again… but if I don't… I will never pursue my goal. _

Kyoko's eyes saddened "I understand" she accepted despite of not being sure at all "I have one question, though"

"What it is?" the president had stopped with his smiling, and now was looking way too serious. He had been planning this all along.

"What if I am not able to do it? What happens to me if I cannot overcome the hatred for love?" Kyoko was worried, and she feared the worst.

"You'll be cut from LOVE ME section, and dismissed from LME" he said with very hurtful words. Kyoko had never imagined that her career could be on risk because of her refusal of love.

"But, sir" Kyoko raised her head looking for some comprehension "how I do this?" she was desperate.

"You certainly loved once, Mogami-san" he said "you need to remember what it was, and perhaps the rest will come by itself" he suggested. But he was showing no mercy.

Kyoko left that office really depressed and obsessed with her own obstinacy. She had made a statement, but now this declaration of principles was turning against her own will. She didn't want to remember what being in love with Sho felt like, she had enough with the memories on how she had been treated, on how much she had devoted for her love and later been shattered… _Hold on, that's it! I was so devoted to that punk! I've seen Mimori-chan do the same for the same jerk… How was it to be in love with Sho?_ Kyoko tried not to end up as always that she had those thoughts: cursing and spitting and having her evil spirits flying in circles around her claiming they should destroy the demon. She kept trying to regain the idea of those feelings while she was being driven to Kimagure Rock's set. She reviewed all the things she used to do on her daily life, when she was a little girl, when she came with Sho to Tokyo, and how she reacted when she knew about Sho's real motives to have her with him. Kyoko felt pity for that past self, she recognized that she was startled, and that her early relationship as little kids was what made her believe that much that he was her ideal prince.

_Was I that much of an idiot? Why don't I feel that innocent now? I swore that I would keep my pureness and all of that but…_ Kyoko's mind flashed for a second into her moments into Setsu's skin. She shivered. She got out of the car, she still had time to put on Bo's costume, so she thought to go and greet the boys of Bridge Rock, she was always so comfortable while spending time with them, they where three of the few male she could actually have fun with and be relaxed. She was really close with the three Ishibashi boys, because they treated her as if she was one more important host of the show, and when they were waiting to record, or on breaks, they always had a nice time together.

_I guess it's because I don't see them as male I could fall in love with that we have such an easy-going relationship. Not that any of them could be interested in me, of course…_

But even with that, Kyoko was a little surprised with herself that after what had happened with Sho, she wasn't despising the whole male genre. She kept walking towards the boys' waiting room when someone appeared on her way.

"You surely are hard to catch these days" Kyoko was a little bit shaken by seeing him there. Lately, he'd been impeded to approach her.

"I am really busy, Shotaro" she said, knowing that he hated being called by his real name. However, this wasn't as the other times, Kyoko felt no pleasure into teasing him. In fact, she didn't felt anything at all.

"Hold on" he interrupted her pace by grabbing her left arm from the back. He made her face him "Where had you been? Is it that you're already forgotten about your bet?" he said with insisting eyes.

"I've been busy" Kyoko said "and, as you can see, it seems my agency doesn't like you around me" she smiled, but this time she wasn't feeling her little spirits' cruelness around her "besides, it was too mean from me to say all those things about Tsuruga-san" Sho's eyes shadowed "he's been way too kind to me, taking his time to mentor me. Me saying that I only wanted to benefit from his skills and serve myself to advance on my career that was mindless and rude" she said with a clear and calm voice "I take back what I said. It's not his fault that I have that much ambition now, and it's not his fault that I changed my motives to pursue this career" she said shaking away the hand that was keeping her from going.

"You're taking it back? You made a promise, remember? Will you go back to Kyoto, now?" Sho seemed to be really angry and agitated. Kyoko knew that he hadn't like the bit of her taking it 'all' back. Even if she had added an explanation with it, she knew that he would bring back that matter, once more.

"Don't be ridiculous Shotaro" she said just to show he was in no position to regret her nothing "You toyed me to make me say the things you wanted, I realize this much now. I might have entered this World because of you, but I won't allow you to be the reason of me dropping it out. Especially being such a silly bet" she said trying to lose him.

"Wait!" he stepped into her way, one more time "Are you telling me that you actually care for that jerk?" he said being angry. Kyoko spaced out for a second, and when she came back, she told herself not to be mindless this time.

"That's none of your business, Shotaro" she said with a straight look into his eyes "we are not associated anymore, in any way, unless it is professionally, so I would appreciate it if you stopped meddling in my business" Kyoko didn't want to, but she sounded really cold as saying this "you shouldn't be wasting your time with me, you surely have your own career to take care of. And now, if you'll excuse me, I've got things to do" she said disappearing inside Bridge Rock's waiting room.

_Hopefully, when I get out of the room to get into Bo's outfit, he will be gone already. _

However, Kyoko was still surprised by the whole situation: she hadn't even felt a thing, except pity for her old self, while being that cold to Sho. What was it like that?

**| Well, this is, indeed, a longer chapter **

**I needed to settle this thing between Kyoko and Sho. Of course, in the manga, I would expect from Sho to keep coming back... especially because his manager is trying to make him realize that he has feelings for Kyoko. But for this fic... I just don't hink I'll be seeing him anymore. We can imagine that he gets all hyped up by the way Kyoko has dismissed him, and starts to really worry that she's fallen for Ren... but that's just like Reino: It's not in the fic, that doesn't mean it couldn't happen XD**

**I am sorry for the cruelness of my cliffhangers... it's something I usually do XD I love to tease **

**But well, in this fic, Kyoko seems to be heading to bigger things... why?**

**Well, I do happen to love a lot the Japanese entertainment, and one of the reasons why I love SB so much is because, out of all the mangas with similar plots, not only presents the characters in a different way, but, even with all its surreal things and fantasy stuff, is quite accurate with the way Kyoko progresses. Of course, in real life, she wouldn't be progressing that 'fast' (take it that the storyline is fast, but we've been reading the manga for years and we're still not even in the middle of its plot, I am certain of that).**

**First: Kyoko has to enter a talent agency. It happens all in a weird way, but she does the whole audience, and gets rejected.**

**then, we see her having to dig her way up as a trainee (well, as less than a trainee XD but we get to see her train in drama-school)**

**And her first role is in a short commercial, as a complete nobody. As one of those aspiring actressess or magazine teen models who do small jobs. However, it happens to be for a popular brand of drinks (or that seemed to me), so the spotlight she gets, brings her to Sho's PV.**

**Sho's PV... how many great actors started like that? More than you probably think... surely in real life Kyoko would at least have more CM's before landing a PV of a top idol, but this is more realistic than other mangas I read.**

**And from the PV... she lands a secondary role in a Sopa Opera, Japanese way of it, at least. But important enough because is the remake of a very popular series.**

**Her next role, is not as important as more would want, but still, it's natural: she gets an offer to do a similar role into a minor drama... I suspect Box R is another Soap Opera, not a primer time drama, not even a drama of short episodes... and it's in her hands to make the role completely different from the other.**

**The surreal role, and probably, never existing in real life, is Setsu's role.**

**However, it serves to the manga plot, and while she's being Setsu, she's still being Natsu.**

**I haven't mentioned Bo because, as you all know, that Kyoko is playing Bo remains a secret, so that couldn't help her to get any new roles, not from spotlight...**

**So... I wanted to make her career advance in what, to me, would be the 'next stage': a role in a more important drama. But being Kyoko a rookie and a teenager, that should be your typical teenage drama, shown in prime-time but for teenagers, and not a Soap Opera with more episodes. Not a protagonist, but still an important role in a drama that's expected to have more than one protagonist.**

**And then... the natural thing should be keeping on landing roles like that, on teenage dramas or just playing a teenager in adult dramas... but to have a main role, she shall get popular first, and companies must want her because she's the 'new face'... well, that should be the role she'd had if she passess that audition. Right? An audition that depends a lot on how well she does with that new drama.**

**When I said I don't expect SB to end up soon nor to solve Ren/Kyoko's issue right away is because I do expect to see things like this happen because, since day 1, Nakamura-sensei has been displaying it all like this. SB is more about personal developement than anything else and, then, there's what we're being hinted on Kyoko's romantic life... but you never know... perhaps Nakamura-sensei intends for Sho to get Kyoko at the end, perhaps not... I just want to see her reach her goal. Don't you?**

**Well, I quit the long free-talk. Sorry again for extending myself to the infinite and thank you so much for each one of your reviews. I really don't get angry when you make me notice mistakes and typos, I honestly appreciate those and I also learn so much from those.**

**Thanx for the love you're showing!**

**Rei |**


	17. 17-Another Mission

**| Aw! It's too late, and you're gonna hate me when you get to the end of this chapter... but I shall continue tomorrow. I should go to sleep now I just wanted to get to this point of the story. Sure I'll leave you with loads of things to think about meanwhile. I promise I'll keep going and won't let you in an eternal hiatus, like Nakamura-sensei does with us XD **

**Have all nice dreams :D**

**Rei |**

It was another sleepless night. Kyoko was running all the scenes that have occurred during the day, keeping the replay button pressed into the part when the president had threatened her with layoff and the part when she had been so heartless with Sho. She kept analyzing everything until realizing that she had been trying to think about the time when she was in love with Sho, and that she had weirdly felt anything but pity for her old self towards that.

_Where is the anger? Where is all that hurt? Why am I not calling for my spirits to lock the box? Why I cannot even hear the box tremble? Coming to think of that… that last time, when he kidnapped me into his car, I wasn't thinking about anything else than he being an idiot for not even disguising himself and that… _She froze. She knew what she was about to say: when she had been with Sho that last time, she was only worried that if she was seen, she would upset Ren Tsuruga.

Kyoko's heartbeat raced up. It was like her blood pressure was about to make her explode. The scenes of her time being Setsu and everything that had happened with her senpai kept tormenting her. Kyoko was starting to notice that she had been too intimate with him, even for a role. She kept thinking about Tsuruga-san's attitude, and the way he had stepped out of his role by forgetting to speak in English, and then the memories of her time with her senpai came to her mind. Not her time with Cain Heel, but the times she had been in his company, the times he had helped her or he had required her help.

_Why is he avoiding me now? Why is he not taking my calls?_

Kyoko's eyes wetted, she felt neglected. She had been wanting to speak to him so bad, discuss about their role as Heel sibling's success, try to apologize and explain she had been rude to him because Sho Fuwa had pissed her off… she wanted to tell him about the new role as Saori so bad. But she had only been able to speak to Yashiro-san. She felt frustrated.

_Why I am like this?_

On the next morning, Kyoko went to school, she still had two weeks before the exams came up, but that day she would be wrapping up Box R, and she needed to start figuring out Saori's role. With all that had happened she had completely forgotten to open the script.

When she finished school, there was no sign of Sho waiting to corner her, and the company car was waiting for her as it had been on the last weeks. She went to Box R's set, shot her last scenes, and had a small celebration with her cast-mates afterwards. Surprisingly, Chiori-chan had a present for her: a small bouquet of flowers that Kyoko accepted with a humble vow. She was glad that they had become closer due to the LOVE ME section.

Kyoko ended up going home later than she had expected, however, it was still soon to have dinner, so she thought she'll start reading Saori's role script. When she was being fetched back, her cell-phone rang. It was an unknown number and she picked up quickly, hoping to hear a certain voice at the other side of the line.

"Mogami-san" her heart dropped when she heard Lory Takarada's voice "Are you heading back home, already?"

"Yes sir" she said, trying not to sound rude, due to her disappointment.

"Well, then, when you arrive, pack some clothes because you'll be leaving afterwards, MUSE will accompany you" he said with an icy voice. Kyoko knew he was still concerned about her not being able to fulfill what she had been required of.

"Where am I leaving sir? Have I've been requested for another LOVE ME mission?" it was the only thing Kyoko could think about, after all, her last mission had been Setsu, but she had never got the marks for it, so no new stamps had been put on her note-book.

"Sort of" he said "Well, is not a LOVE ME mission, but I do need you to get something important back for me" the president said "MUSE will get you there, but once you're arrived, she'll leave you alone. Take the time you need to make sure you bring it back" Kyoko was really intrigued.

"Can I ask which object I need to bring back? How does it look?" Kyoko found it strange, but it wasn't the first weird request she'd got from the president.

"You'll know when you'll see it" the president replied "You take your time, but don't get too long to come back, because you've got things to do here as well"

"Of course" Kyoko hesitated. But then she remembered she had a new drama, a role to figure out and rehearse and exams in two weeks. Well, if it was just an object, she'd be back in the morning.

She got home, took a small suitcase and packed it with some clothes. She had forgotten to ask if she was going far, or if the weather where she was going would be colder. So she packed a couple of comfortable outfits, a jersey, her pajama, because she knew she would spend at least a night out, and she put on Princess Rosa, just in case she needed protection. She rushed downstairs to find the car still waiting for her, and she was brought to the train station.

_Am I riding a train? _When she came out of the car, MUSE greeted her "Hi Kyoko, dear!" she was happy to see her "Come on, we don't want to lose it, is the last shinkansen to Kyoto" _WHAT?_ Kyoko was starting to panic. Was the president already sending her 'home'?

MUSE made her run through the station big halls and jump into the shinkansen, the high speed train that could travel in less than 2 hours into Kyoto, she was riding a Nozomi, the most expensive of them all, if the president had wasted that much money to put her on a train, she doubted it would be to send her back home.

She fell asleep on the journey, due to her lack of sleep, and MUSE tried to make her eat something after waking her up, but all she could get into her stomach was a rice-ball. They arrived at Tokyo at eleven thirty, on the night, a car was waiting for them at the station, they were carried to a majestic house, an old but big house, that must belong to someone important, perhaps it was a property the president had there, and MUSE rung the doorbell "I am MUSE, I am expected" she said. Then the door opened, automatically, letting them into a nice garden and Kyoko followed MUSE inside, a little bit impressed and scared by all that magnificence "I am leaving now, Kyoko-chan" she told her "Take your time, and take care of yourself" she said hugging her and vanishing behind the main door.

"Wait…" Kyoko tried calling for her, but it was already too late for that. She felt an electric shot running through her spine, but she had to enter the house and she couldn't spend the night out in the open, she approached the main door that had been left opened, but hesitated to go inside. After a few seconds, she took a deep breath and entered.

"Welcome, miss" a nice old woman told her "you're expected in the living room, follow me please, you can leave the luggage here" she said looking surprised to see a suitcase. Kyoko followed the woman through the corridors until reaching a door. The woman opened that door and said "here's your visit, young master" and made a sign to Kyoko to enter. She disappeared behind her.

Kyoko was confused, but she stepped inside the old Japanese style living-room, which looked really rich. She nearly got lost into admiring the decorations, until remembering she was supposed to find an object and that the woman had told that someone was expecting her.

"I told the president there was no need for…" as soon as she heard that voice her whole body ached, she froze while lowering her gaze to meet his. The man speaking seemed to be as shocked as she was of seeing her there.

_Tsuruga-san? _That's all what Kyoko could say inside her mind.


	18. 18- Hazel Eyes

**| Hi everyone. I am updating with a free-talk, I'll paste here a new chapter in a few hours.**

**I wanted just to reply one of the comments that I cannot reply through PM.**

**Someone asked me why Kuon speaks in Japanese, despite he had troubles using the language and that it would be more natural for him to speak in English.**

**The answer is simple. I had my doubts too, but I decided to keep the whole thing in Japanese because when Kuon met with Kyoko, she was little, and I assume that they spoke that way (well, I never got that part clear, anyway). Also, to keep Kyoko suspecting there was something wrong. Perhaps I should kept him being clumsy speaking Japanese, but Ren ended up learning it better, so that's why I also wanted to keep it like this. As I said, I believe that Kuon's in there, he's grown up and he has adopted Tsuruga's façade, but Ren is Kuon and Kuon is Ren.**

**Also, another thing I am going to answer, yes the MUSE is Jelly Woods. I had scanlations with her named like this and a few times it appeared as Jelly Woods, since I didn't remember her name when I went to find it, that's what I found in a few of the chapters she appears, however, he name's not mentioned that much U_U", so that it is. In my country, SB is not published, and despite I wanted to buy the original my last time I went to Japan, that had been too much weight to bring back with me or send in a package I will someday, though.**

**Well, I am going to work on the follow up. Remember I try to keep the chapters short and my wish is not end up having those much chapters, only that there are 17 of those already U_U"**

**Rei **

**PS: There will be some notes and answers at the end of it too|**

He couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing. Of course, Lory Takarada had tricked him again. He had accepted the nature of him being Kuon Hizui, and he had tried keeping up with his schedule, however, he needed time. Time to think, time to get used to the fact that he had been casting away the idea of being Kuon because he thought him a monster, and time to be away from her, so he wouldn't hurt her and she wouldn't interfere into a process he needed to get through alone. He had requested for a break, and he had been granted of that. But Lory Takarada wasn't someone with no brains, he had a very good sense for smelling troubles, and he had called him after a few days of being in Kyoto, at what it had been his parent's residence during their time in the country, when he was a young boy, when he had met Kyoko for the first ime.

"_Ren, we took care of that matter_" the president told him "_as I told you last time. However, it seems that Sho Fuwa has decided to leave her alone, since he hasn't been seen for a couple of days now_"

"_I still want her to use the company car_" he said thinking they better be cautious.

"_Is there anything else I should know?_" the president's voice was curious, he didn't want to go on details about Kijima's intentions, and he didn't want to explain himself that much either "_What's really going on?_" but the president was too insisting.

"_Kuon_" he finally said.

"_What?_" the president's fear was starting to show up in his voice "_Kuon? I thought you wrapped the BJ project successfully_"

"_I…_" he didn't know how to start "_Kuon showed up several times during that time_" his mouth was dry "_at first I was scared, I didn't want to turn into the monster I remembered to be_" he continued "_but… but after a while, I understood that Kuon is also who I am, and that Kuon has also grown up_"

"_I see…_" but the president seemed to still be confused.

"_There's a lot I still need to think about_" he tried to make himself clearer "_why I became like this, and why thought of myself as a murderer_"

"_Are you believing that you're not worth of love yet?_" the president snapped. This was the question he didn't want to be asked.

"_I… don't know_" he said quietly "_but if I keep associating with her, I won't be able to see anything clear_"

"_So, it did happen something_" he could sense how Lory Takarada drew a sly smile at the other side of the line. He became silent "_You're not replying, I'll take it as a yes. However, she hasn't said anything_" he was still listening to the president's words "_but, come to think about it, Mogami-san does look so bad these days… she's been working hard, but even with that, she does look like something was troubling her_"

"_I'm sure that she'll be fine_" he made an excuse. He didn't want to continue that route.

"_Well_" the president's tone changed "I do need you to see something. Even if you need some time, this matter is urgent, so I'll get MUSE to bring it to you, tomorrow evening, night maybe… MUSE is also busy, so she probably won't be able to come until late" he wasn't sure if he was ready to check out any projects, but the president's ways were always this pushy.

"_All right_" he replied "_I'll be waiting then_"

When he hung up, he felt a little relief. He hadn't spoke too much about it, but just by confessing he had encountered Kuon's personality again, it made his troubles less heavy. Being at that house was giving him the time he needed to reflect on his life and everything that had happened on his adolescence. He needed to think about it while being alone and away of both, his father and Mogami-san. But the president had tricked him again. He was way too smart, and now he was facing the person he wanted to avoid the most.

She seemed shocked, distressed, she certainly looked tired, black circles showing up under her eyes, she was, thinner? She looked terrible, yet, his heart throbbed by the only sight of her. She wasn't saying anything, he was sure that she had also been tricked by the president.

"You don't greet me?" he said, trying to regain the senpai posture. But her mouth fell half open, and her eyes were scanning him through. He shivered.

"Senpai?" she finally said. He knew that she had noticed something weird. Of course, she was so clever.

"Have you seen a ghost, Mogami-san?" this is not how he had imagined their first encounter after having played the Heel siblings. And that was exactly why he needed time to regain himself.

"What's the meaning of this?" she still sounded as her usual self, however, he knew she was implying something he was afraid to explain "Why are your eyes hazel? Are you in another special mission, senpai?" he felt the urge to laugh. That was really her, only Kyoko Mogami would say a thing like that.

"I am not" he wanted to lie, but he couldn't "this is my real eye color" he confessed, hoping she wouldn't see anything else in it.

"Right…" she mumbled, she seemed to be thinking, then she opened her mouth again "I am in a mission" she said, but he had already figured out that this would've been the president's excuse to trick her "I came to find a precious object the president needs" he couldn't suppress his laughter. Mogami-san seemed confused.

"There isn't such an object in here Mogami-san" he didn't know how to deal with the whole situation, but he didn't want to fool her with this either "that's not why the president made you come here"

"Really?" her eyeballs widened "Is it another secret project? Is that why senpai hasn't been replying my messages lately?" she was still too innocent, or at least she tried to be it with him. His eyes dropped, he felt guilty, she had indeed been trying to contact him all the time, but he had neglected her just for her sake, however, he felt bad about that.

"No, there's not a secret mission" he said changing his facial expression, he could sense how her eyes looked like she feared something "there's something I have to tell you about Mogami-san, and you won't like it when you'll hear it" he couldn't believe he had just said that. So, was he ready to shatter her childish fantasies? Whatever it was going to happen, he felt like it was the time to tell.

**| As for the notes. I will start with one of your reviews, since it's signed under a guest account, I can not directly reply by PM, so I'll answer it here:**

**_Baba:How about having Kuon switch to an American accent? I'm not sure if_**  
**_that's correct, but I thought Cain Heel was half British?_**  
**_Would've been a little more subtle but still noticeable enough to make Kyoko_**  
**_wonder, don't you think?_**

**Yeah, that's what I remember Cain Heel to be. However, in scanlations, I don't actually see the difference. I hardly know the difference while writting except for a few words and verbs? Me not being American or Brittish, it doesn't help, I know, sorry.**

**Also, I am not sure what's the extent of Kyoko's English. I've read several fics where she isn't good at speaking it, yet, when it came the Setsu role time, she apparently was fluent enough to play it, but: Which accent is she using? Does she know the difference? It all depends on how she learnt English. **

**Is tricky enough, so I decided not to even touch the matter (when I wrote it). But anyway, thank you for making me notice about Cain's procedence.**

**I have to run now. I already spent time I shouldn't today XD but I needed to finish this chapter, since otherwise I won't be able to update until tomorrow.**

**I know that in normal circumstances, Ren would keep entertaining Kyoko, he'd never dared to bring everything up to her. Probably, he found a perfect excuse. I had also planned to make it happen later, because Kyoko also notices that Ren's hair is growing gold... after a couple of unfortunate events at that house... but I don't think I'll hold it any longer...**

**Also, I made up the whole Kyoto House thing. I am not sure if that could exist in the manga, I mean, we assume they had a house there (Ren's parents) but this rich? I don't know... **

**And as I said... I hope that when I come back to the computer, Ren snaps everything about Kuon to Kyoko... well, that if I don't find a more interesting thing to write (in the story).**

**I am running late.**

**See you all at the next chapter **

**Rei |**


	19. 19- One Truth

**| OK, you are certainly going to hate me hard at the end of this page.**

**But let me present my excuses first:**

**1- I spent a nearly sleepless night thinking and thinking about how I would approach this moment. I re-did the scenes a thousand times, yet, when I came to the computer today, it ended up the way you'll read next.**

**2- Oh yes, cliffhangers, but don't worry, I am going to continue writting after I've post this chapter. So, hopefully, in a couple of hours (or less) you'll see what's going to happen.**

**3- No, I am not certain that this is the way the characters would react and say everything this time. But it's because I cannot imagine it properly with only the 194 chapters we've got. I can barely draw a picture of what it could be. Ren's so honest with Kyoko at times, and at times he's just like a wall. So, I didn't know how to represent it well.**

**4- I intend for some things to happen. Yes. But before doing so, I will only hint that, somebody from here told me that is not that Kyok's dense but that she's just so great at making excuses to deny the truth. That's it.**

**Enjoy the chapter. I am going to suffer the developement of this **

**Rei |**

"You don't greet me?" Kyoko heard the words coming from the man in front of her. She had been shocked by finding him there but, not knowing exactly why, she also felt how her heart weight from the past days flew away. But there was another thing bothering her: his eyes. Ren Tsuruga's eyes were hazel, nor brown, like they used to be.

"Senpai?" she asked. She tried imagining why he would be there, and what it had to do with the request the president had made, but she just couldn't take her mind away of his eyes-color.

"Have you seen a ghost, Mogami-san?" he asked. The truth is that she felt like it.

"What's the meaning of this?" she needed to know "Why are your eyes hazel? Are you in another special mission, senpai?" perhaps he was.

"I am not" he said, but Kyoko still felt there was something strange about all that "this is my real eye color" and she wondered why she'd never realized that. How could Kyoko Mogami not see that he was wearing contacts all that time?

"Right…" she mumbled. She kept analyzing the man before her eyes, she was certain that there was something that the president hadn't told her, and she wanted to know "I am in a mission. I came to find a precious object the president needs"

"There isn't such an object in here Mogami-san" his words made her wonder what was really going on "that's not why the president made you come here" she got nervous, maybe that was a plan to… just the idea of it made her whole body freeze. Was she being sent there to work on her new role? She switched to a better excuse.

"Really?" her eyeballs widened "Is it another secret project? Is that why senpai hasn't been replying my messages lately?" she didn't mean to, but it slipped from her lips. There she was, regretting him that he had been away and none reachable.

"No, there's not a secret mission" he said changing his facial expression, Kyoko's insides trembled "there's something I have to tell you about Mogami-san, and you won't like it when you'll hear it" what were the meaning of those words? She was just tired and confused.

"Have I done something wrong?" Those were her first thoughts about it. What else could it be? If he was about to tell her something unpleasant, that might be it.

"No. No" he answered "Why don't you sit down?" she accepted that offer, she felt like standing up was not bearable.

"What's this place?" she asked without even thinking.

"That's…" he was starting to seem nervous, he passed his right hand through his hair, a gesture that he used to do only when he seemed to be worried about something. That Kyoko could recognize it "This is one of my parent's houses"

"Your parent's house?" Kyoko felt curious. That might be the first time he had mentioned his parents in front of her.

"Yes" he said in a shaky voice "Mogami-san, I…" she stared at his hazel eyes deeply. What was that thing he was hesitating to say? "I am Kuon, Mogami-san" like a shot, he let those words come out of his mouth. Kyoko spaced out a second, then she started looking through the man she had in front her, trying to digest what he'd say.

"I don't understand…" she said. Kyoko was trying to gasp the intensity of that revelation. _Kuon?_

"I am Kuu Hizuri's son, Mogami-san. I am not Ren Tsuruga, but Kuon Hizuri, thought Ren Tsuruga is my stage name, the truth about me is this. I am Japan's number 1 actor's son, and this fact is my worst handicap" his words were slowly putting her in situation.

"You…?" she was starting to understand, that Ren Tsuruga, was the boy she had been requested to play once, and that the man that had insisted on being called 'father' by her, was Ren Tsuruga's real one "But… why?" she started to feel all the tiredness that affected her in mind and soul.

"I have a complicated past, Mogami-san" Kyoko felt guilty for assuming that her senpai had always had everything so easy, despite she'd seen him working hard, she had assumed that he had always had a good career as an actor "My teenage days weren't something I can be proud of, and when I decided to change and become an actor, there was still my father's shadow there, impending me to be myself and carve a path from my own talents and efforts, Mogami-san" Kyoko listened to his words carefully "Kuon Hizuri had to be buried away, because he was a person of violent behavior and a conflictive past" of course, that is why he spoke like that to Bo, when he stated that he wasn't allowed to have an important person in his life, but why?

"So… that is…?" she was afraid to ask the question, because that would mean admitting that she had noticed he was being affected by BJ's role.

"Why becoming BJ led me into such a state?" it was like he had read her mind "Yes" Kyoko's eyes remained open, staring at him with disbelief "I was cruel, Mogami-san. I was taught to be like that, to beat and fight, and have no mercy. I was a teenager that usually had street fights, had a life in a gang, and lost my temper so easily, Mogami-san. Nothing I can be proud of now. I was a monster" his eyes shadowed.

"This is why you came here?" without knowing why, Kyoko's voice started to rise up, she was getting angry, but she didn't know why or with who exactly "This is why you avoided all my calls and messages?" her eyes started to become teary as he was staring at her with a puzzled face, like he hadn't expect such a reaction from her "Am I nothing? Am I someone that cannot even help?" a cold tear started falling down her cheek. _Why am I being that regretful? Have I the right to be like this?_

"Mogami-san" his right hand reached to her face, but she shook it away with a fierce gesture.

"No!" she yelled "This is not what I was told Kuon was like! This is not 'father's real son! This is not the person I've learned my senpai to be! You're lying!" she was distressed and mad.

"Unfortunately, it's how I used to be, Mogami-san" he said standing at her regrets "And this is one of the reasons why I've never told anyone" she was now crying like a furious river "but I am that Kuon, and I needed time to consider some things about it. Excuse me if I hurt you in any way for not answering to your messages" he was becoming gloomy and dark, unreachable, distant… his voice was so cold, she couldn't even stand the idea of her senpai being like this. Kyoko rushed to hit his chest as hard as she could with a shower of punches.

"I won't believe you!" she yelled while hitting him "Ren Tsuruga and Kuon are not like this!" she was losing her mind out of rage "I won't forgive you for saying these things! She kept riding on a choleric storm, until everything went dark.

_That is not the man I… _

Kyoko's thoughts faded away.


	20. 20-Miso Soup

**| Regarding 'Hazel Eyes'.**

**I had a review from a guest. Well, I must say that if people comment as guests it makes harder to reply directly, so I'll post it here anyway, because I was already to post about it yesterday, but I had no time.**

_** but Koun's eyes are green**_

**Well, I did wonder what Kuon's real eyes color was because every fic I read, changes the color, and because I don't recall having found out about it in the manga. Not any of the 3 or 4 times I re-read it.**

**So I googled for it and found several forums and a wikia, where they weren't even sure what the color was.**

**I found a forum where people were discussing the color ever since... 2 years ago? So I went looking for their most recent posts too... and the thing is, there was no answer, only the theory that Kuon's eyes weren't brown because at some chapter 17something, Nakamura-sensei showed how Ren changed his contact lenses. And because it was assumed that Cain's eyes were also of a different color, that he might also be covering his real color to be Ren.**

**Since there were several options given for Ren's true color, I decided for Hazel. But I have not seen any site, wikia, whatever that states his eyes are green. If you have the place where it says so, I will kindly be grateful to having resolved the mystery, and I am sure that at these forums I mentioned, you'll make they day, because it seems they've been debating about it for such a long time.**

**As I previously said on other free-talks, I read SB through scanlations, so a few details might be missed to me. **

**Here goes a new chapter... |**

He had been cruel by telling Kyoko Mogami all the truth about Kuon's nature. However, he had tried to skip on the details, because he didn't want to hurt her, even if the truth was hurtful, but she had reacted badly. He couldn't say her reaction wasn't one Mogami-san wouldn't have, but he was surprised with the fierceness she was beating his chest. Also, he was aware that she didn't say a thing about being deceived by him but, apparently, she was mad because he had spoken that way about himself. Perhaps that's why he was trying to sound cold and distant.

Kyoko Mogami kept beating at him madly, he didn't know what to do or what to say, but he insisted that he better kept quiet and stand still, maybe if he appeared distant and impassive, she would finally go away. But instead, she passed out.

"Mogami-san?" he caught her before she fell to the floor "Mogami-san?" she had fainted. He took her in his arms and observed, once more, that she was obviously tired and worked out. He opted to carry her into his room, since he hadn't any other room prepared, and let her lay in his bed. He put his left hand over her forefront to find she was running a little bit of fever. He called for the house gamekeeper to request her some ice-bag and to prepare some food.

_She's obviously been overworking herself, and probably she hasn't eaten properly_

He decided to stay beside her, until the fever went down a little. But she woke up just a few minutes after being in his bed.

"Don't get up" he told her "you need to rest"

"I don't need to" she protested. Of course, Mogami-san would hate to be showing her that weak, being all that hard-work and determination like she was.

"You need to rest" he said with an authoritarian tone "Mogami-san, you're a mess" he said "how did you become like this?" but her eyes just lowered, and she didn't say a thing. She was reclined on the bed's head, looking weak and sad.

He went out for a moment, and when he came back, carrying some miso-soup she was already trying to escape.

"I told you to stay on bed" he said, she tried opening her mouth to protest "I want no excuses, Mogami-san. My father and the president would kill me if I let you go in that state" she went back to bed "You need to eat"

"What's this?" she said, surely, looking for an excuse to refuse.

"Miso-soup. Kobayashi-san, the housekeeper, made it for you" he approached her, and started to pour the soup with the spoon into her mouth.

"I can eat by myself" she said trying to steal the spoon from his hands.

But he avoided her hand, and kept his arm still, waiting for her mouth to open and swallow the soup. He felt weird by doing it, but this was something he just couldn't help. The last time he had poured a spoon into her mouth, it had been as Cain Heel… well, it had been as himself, still battling about letting Kuon's nature flourish, but now, the gesture felt really different from that other time. He was feeling an inexplicable warm inside, knowing that he was taking care of his most beloved person.

_This… this must be just one occasion. I cannot let this thing go further…_

He ended feeding her the soup, and retired the empty bowl and the spoon from the bed-side.

"Sleep" he said "I know you want to leave, but sleep first"

She opened her mouth, in sign of saying something, but he covered her with the sheets, and she closed her eyes.

He got out of the room, hoping she'd fall asleep quickly. But he couldn't get away from that door, knowing that he had hurt her, and that he still had more hurtful things to say. After a time had passed, he came back into the room, just to watch her sleep.

_Could I…? No I couldn't_

He said to himself as he also fell asleep.


	21. 21-The end of denial part 1

Kyoko had woken up finding herself in that bed. She had fainted, then he had carried her into that bed, and when she had regained her consciousness, she had tried leaving, but he had insisted in making her rest. He had even fed her some miso-soup.

_How could I be acceding to his demands that easily? Aren't I angry with all what he said?_

She turned her head to discover his laying beside her, as he had fallen asleep while watching for her, or at least that's what Kyoko assumed. She cleared her eyes and noticed that her senpai's hair was growing gold.

_So, this is real? His eyes aren't brown, and now it seems his hair isn't black either… I can see why he didn't tell me, if he hasn't told anyone else about it. Does the president know?_

Then Kyoko remembered how she was linked to Kuu Hizuri. She came to the conclusion that probably, the president did know everything.

She had so many issues to deal with: a new role, her refusal to love… but now the only thing she could think about what him. He had spoken some ugly things of his own self.

_Is that what the president meant when he told me I was the only one I could help him? Or was he only talking about the BJ project?_

She looked at the time, it was still 2 A.M., so she hadn't slept that much, he was also tired, but he had stayed there, just to guard her and make sure she wouldn't leave. Kyoko kept thinking about everything that had happened, and all the emotions that she had felt during the last hours came back to her. She found herself patting his hair, enjoying the softness of the black hair with golden roots. She didn't realize she was being that carefree until he woke up. She rushed to hide her hand but she didn't have time to fake she was still sleeping.

"Mogami-san?" he said "Are you awake?"

She didn't dare to reply, suddenly she felt extremely shy.

"Sorry, I fell asleep" he seemed also embarrassed to be discovered sleeping with his head on the bed.

"You should also take care of yourself and go to sleep" she said still feeling weird "I promise I won't escape" she said. But he kept staring at her with those hazel eyes, making her be uncomfortable.

"This is my bed" he answered. Kyoko felt suddenly so embarrassed. All the times she had been at his apartment, he had a guest room ready, just in case, so she hadn't thought she would be occupying his bed.

"I'm sorry… I…" she attempted to wake up and leave the bed. She was being so inconsiderate, even if she was still mad at him.

"Don't" he grabbed her arm and impeded her to leave the bed

"But, I can't just take senpai's bed and leave you sleeping somewhere else" she was getting back to her usual self "that would be…"

"All right" he said. But Kyoko's blood froze when he actually jumped inside the bed, with her "Let's go to sleep"

"Senpai?" she said. This time it was her and not Setsu, so this was certainly no right.

He looked at her, not saying a thing, but still getting inside the sheets, while she kept backing off.

"This… this is not right" she said.

"Why not?" he asked "You are tired, a mess in fact. And I also need to sleep, as you kindly made me notice. We've already shared a bed before" he said so easily, but Kyoko felt even more embarrassed.

"That… that…" she couldn't find the words to reply. _Is he serious? How can he be comparing this time with back then?_ "Senpai" she suddenly lowered her head, feeling a little bit disappointed "I kindly told you this once, but shall I say it twice?" she said feeling nervous "this is Japan, not your country, and acting like this might be normal where you come from, but here is not. Besides, I don't feel comfortable when you play me like this, just to make fun of me" she dared to say.

"I am not" he said grabbing her to push her closer "by any means" he pressed her down while covering her with his arms "thinking of anything like making fun of you, Mogami-san" she was so shocked, she didn't know how to react nor how to escape from that. Was he really serious? "And now, let's sleep. I've been telling myself over and over not to let this happen" he switched off the small lamp that had been on all the time they'd been in that room "but after all, my weakness has transformed into something I can't control anymore" Kyoko shivered, but he pushed her closer, and he made her turn her whole body to face him. Even in the dark, she could see those hazel eyes.

"Are you using me as you stuffed animal again senpai?" _That's it. That must be it. Please, say it's like this, otherwise… otherwise…_ Kyoko's head was a complete mess. She had run out of excuses to cover up the truth. She knew. She really knew it, and that's why she had quickly closed the box that time when she nearly surrendered herself into his tricks. That's why she had denied so hard to Sho that time, she knew that if she ever admitted what she really felt, she would take a route she'd never be able to come back from. But… why was he toying with her that much?

"That's what you think?" he sighed "I guess I don't make myself any clearer" he said stretching his embrace "When I take you into my bed like this, I don't think of you as anything else as what you are, Mogami-san" she was wondering what that could mean, but his hand started running up her spine, reaching her head, and touching her hair "I don't want to distress you more. Let's go to sleep" he kissed her forehead. She felt like she had been cursed.

"How can I go to sleep like this?" she said nearly sobbing, assuming she was completely lost into his game.

"Because you are mine, Kyoko" he said. And she fell on a deep silence, finally understanding the meaning of all this.

**| OK. **

**I had been re-thinking so many times how I would make this happen. I wanted that scene when they get back to bed. Just so Kyoko could compare and judge, to the times she was dragged in as Setsu.**

**It was hard not to make implicit that Ren/Kuon had feelings for her, so I finally surrendered to the idea of making it happen like another of those weird things Ren Tsuruga does and Kyoko awkwardly accepts because she's queen of making excuses.**

**Also, the way she realizes about her feelings... I do expect to be it more dramatic than this. I don't even have hopes that she will convey his feelings and immediatly have the pie on her hands. Surely she'll realize while Ren is away... or realize and decide to shoot her feelings down... or maybe Nakamura-sensei will bring one of those typical ugly female characters that meddle in every heroine's bussiness... I don't know.**

**There's more to come and realize. This is just a first step, since Ren hasn't even make a proper confession. Nor dared to say what he really wanted to say... oh, yes, he really wanted to say something else... besides, he still has things to break into her. And Kyoko hasn't properly thought about why she loves Ren Tsuruga... she's only given in because of the situation, and because she's so distressed and tired... and the cause for this is Ren's been neglecting her. **

**Didn't you think it was weird Kyoko's reaction at the begining of the manga? Wouldn't she cry a little, at least in private? I came to the conclusion other writers on this site came: Kyoko had a teenage/childish crush on Sho, but she never trully loved him.**

**Whenever I re-read the first chapters, she is devoted to Sho but to idol Sho. And when she's alone with him, she's still too more like a fan, than a friend. And the way she hates on him, it never drags her to be irrationaly passionate... she's just irrational because she despises how she became because of Sho. And at any rate she says she misses him, or she's lonely.**

**But she does become blue anytime Ren scolds her, or gets distant... she just can't get Ren Tsuruga out of her mind. And I based everything on this fact. I made it become deeper and twisted the plot so I could use it as an excuse to make Kyoko drop her denial.**

**But well, she hasn't completely deliberated about this so...**

**let's see you on the next chapter!**

**Rei**

**PS: I keep looking on the green eyes issue, yet can't find a proper official statement than says Kuon's eyes were a certain color. I did find out that Kyoko wears contacts while playing Setsu, to match Cain's... |**


	22. 22-The end of denial part 2

"Mogami-san?" he said "Are you awake?" He had fallen asleep while watching over her. He had been woken up because he had felt something… _She was patting my hair, wasn't she?_

But she didn't reply. He was sure that she had quickly hidden her hand, the one she'd been touching his hair.

"Sorry, I fell asleep" he realized that he had just been carelessly sleeping beside her, even if he was only resting his head on the bed, he remembered of the times he had dragged her in with him, while playing the Heel siblings.

"You should also take care of yourself and go to sleep" he kept analyzing her facial expression "I promise I won't escape" those words made him smile inside.

_Like I'd let you do that, Mogami-san…_

"This is my bed" he answered, to make her notice that he couldn't go anywhere else. He enjoyed watching her face turn red.

"I'm sorry… I…" she attempted to wake up and leave the bed. For the first time, he knew that he didn't care about what he should do, he just wanted to do what he felt like.

"Don't" he grabbed her arm and impeded her to leave the bed

"But, I can't just take senpai's bed and leave you sleeping somewhere else" again, that was the Mogami-san he knew "that would be…"

_Please, don't keep pulling my strings, Mogami-san. I am not sure that I will be able to control myself any further… the fact that I am refusing to leave you alone, is already something I shouldn't be doing_.

"All right" he said jumping inside the bed, with her "Let's go to sleep"

"Senpai?" That was it. He was repeating what he had done as Cain, but this time, he meant to let her know that it was him and only him, the one perpetrating the act.

He looked at her, not saying a thing, but still getting inside the sheets, while she kept backing off.

"This… this is not right" she said.

_Don't try to escape, Mogami-san… It's already too late for that_.

"Why not?" he asked "You are tired, a mess in fact. And I also need to sleep, as you kindly made me notice. We've already shared a bed before" and that was the point where he wanted to get at.

"That… that…" he was feeling guilty for putting her in such a place, but he just couldn't stop now "Senpai" she looked like she was disappointed "I kindly told you this once, but shall I say it twice? This is Japan, not your country, and acting like this might be normal where you come from, but here is not. Besides, I don't feel comfortable when you play me like this, just to make fun of me" she dared to say.

_Oh no_.

"I am not" he said grabbing her to push her closer "by any means" he pressed her down while covering her with his arms "thinking of anything like making fun of you, Mogami-san" So, that's what she always thought because he had always backed off anytime he had attempted to make a move on her, and ended up lying about it, making her believe he was joking.

_This is my fault. This is because I wasn't able to accept my feelings._

"And now, let's sleep. I've been telling myself over and over not to let this happen" he switched off the small lamp that had been on all the time they'd been in that room "but after all, my weakness has transformed into something I can't control anymore" he felt how her whole body shivered inside his arms, but he pushed her closer, and he made her turn her whole body to face him.

"Are you using me as you stuffed animal again senpai?" This came out as a funny revelation. Perhaps that was the reason why she accepted so easily all the times he had slept while embracing her.

"That's what you think?" he sighed "I guess I don't make myself any clearer" he said stretching his embrace "When I take you into my bed like this, I don't think of you as anything else as what you are, Mogami-san" _I think of you as the woman you are, the one who's able to erase any bad feelings from me, and make me go mad at the same time. The one who can see right through me, even now I've told you who I really was. _But he couldn't just say all that, not tonight.

"I don't want to distress you more. Let's go to sleep" he kissed her forehead. She would hate him in the morning, but now, he only wanted to trap her in his arms, while he still could.

"How can I go to sleep like this?" he heard her voice crushed and nearly sobbing. Would she understand what his feelings were? Or was she still marked by that punk?

"Because you are mine, Kyoko" he said without even thinking. And he heard anything else. He fell asleep while keeping her as close as possible, fearing that she would be gone in the morning.


	23. 23-The truth behind Corn

She woke up inside Ren Tsuruga's arms. Ren or Kuon's, as he had stated the previous night, she didn't care that much, she only cared about the reality he had claimed Kuu Hizuri's son belonged. She attempted to free herself from that embrace, where she had slept, surprisingly really fine.

_I am doomed, completely doomed. And if he's only playing with me, I don't have the confidence to get up again. I understand that much now… Sho never made me cry over him, he never made me feel neglected while being away, and he, certainly, he'd never went that far as he had, for me to keep making excuses… I wanted to be innocent and pure, but this just breaks me apart._

She was about to get out the trap when he held her even tighter.

"Please" she heard him say with a shattered voice "Don't go yet. You're going to hate me and leave me after I've told you everything. So please, let me enjoy this moment for a little while more" she felt how his breath deepened and he seemed to smell her hair. She also smelled his scent.

_This is what I was missing, right? This is why I kept waking up abruptly in the middle of the night. His scent wasn't there with me._

"Why does senpai believe I am going to hate him?" she asked, not standing all those riddles he was using.

"Because" he swallowed some saliva, and she could felt how his whole body became tense "You couldn't accept what I told you last night, but that is my reality, Mogami-san. And that's not everything I got to say" he sighed "I am Kuon" he said. But Kyoko didn't grasp the true meaning of that.

"You…" she was still shaking from the fact he was touching her hair and her back "You already said that, senpai"

"Kuon" he said once more "Kyoko, don't you understand?" she shivered when she heard he was using her first name. It hadn't been the first time but, somehow, this time, she felt there was something making her mesmerized "Do you remember who gave you your most precious treasure?"

"Princess Rosa?" she surprised herself. So, Princess Rosa had actually become her most beloved treasure…

"No" he wasn't talking about Princess Rosa, then… "I mean that colored stone"

"Corn?" and Kyoko's mind flashed. She slowly raised her face to meet his eyes, and when she did, she couldn't stop crying.

"I am sorry, Kyoko" he was trying to calm her down, however, she wasn't sobbing but simply crying to her innocence, that had been completely shattered now "He wasn't a fairy prince, but me" he said caressing her cheek "and I hid that from you as well" he closed his eyes, looking defeated "You can go now" he retired his arms from her body and turned himself away.

Kyoko's tears stopped. She had cried enough about her lost innocence, already. It broke more her heart to see the man in front of her being that much defeated.

"Didn't I tell you already?" she said "That I was sure that Corn, wherever he was, had managed to grow up beautifully and escape his father's pressure?" he wasn't even moving, just showing her his back "Isn't he Japan's top 1 idol?" she raised her left hand to touch his back "Isn't he the senpai I admire the most?" she felt her heartbeat hammering as she touched his back, trying to make him answer "I told the president I'd come back bringing back his precious treasure. How could I leave with empty hands?"

She was determined to get to the end of it, whatever it was.

_Why won't you face me?_ Kyoko's feelings where growing higher than she'd ever expected.


	24. 24-Facing Feelings

"You can go now" he retired his arms from her body and turned himself away. He had taken enough advantage of her, and he didn't want to hurt her any further. He had already shattered the last piece of her innocence.

"Didn't I tell you already?" he heard her say "That I was sure that Corn, wherever he was, had managed to grow up beautifully and escape his father's pressure?" those words let him paralyzed. He had never expected she would keep insisting "Isn't he Japan's top 1 idol?" he felt her hand touching his back. She was warm but shaky "Isn't he the senpai I admire the most?" that was all for her. He was nothing more than her senpai "I told the president I'd come back bringing back his precious treasure. How could I leave with empty hands?"

_The president's most precious treasure… but what about yours, Kyoko?_

He had been surprised when she'd answered with 'Princess Rosa' at the question about her most beloved possession. But that was because of the story he had put behind the crystal.

"I'll come back, eventually" he said still feeling the touch of her hand "I just need some time to think"

"And what about me?" he couldn't believe she was saying this "Do you intend to cast me away?"

"Why would you care that much?" he needed to know. Was it because he was being his mentor? Did she not felt what he tried to communicate, already?

"Because…" her voice was hesitating and he was afraid of what she could say "I wouldn't expect less from the man that destroyed my innocence" there she was: the real Kyoko Mogami, the one who, sometimes, dared to scold him, despite of being his kouhai, and despite of always playing the humble kind.

He slowly turned himself to face the girl that had spoke such bravely "Tell me Kyoko, in which ways did I destroy your innocence?" he could fell how his whole self, the old and the new, Kuon and Ren, where about to be really entertained.

"That…" she was trembling again, with the hand that had been touching his back still getting retired from where it had been placed "Deceiving me all along… not telling me about Kuon…. And letting me believe in fairies like this" her voice kept rising as she kept talking "Invading my mind, marking me all over, till the point I cannot think of anything else, I even forgot my own duties… I…" she shed tears again "I hate this state I am in!" she hadn't been too clear with her words, however, he started to grasp her feelings on this.

He took that hand that was still hesitating, and pulled her closer, he grabbed her face "I guess we're even now" and not waiting to know the truth, he kissed her tenderly, hoping to calm those tears, and wishing to be corresponded.

When he parted from her lips, he was still with the fear that she would reject him and be upset about the kiss. He had already seen her become a mess after that punk of Sho Fuwa had stolen her first kiss, and he also remembered how mad he had been, and how much he had to suppress his urge to erase the kiss with one from his own.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" Kyoko said, she had no more tears, but she looked, indeed, troubled "Even when I've been told to surpass the barrier that was keeping me inside the Love Me Section, I had no intention to accept what I was feeling. Why did you have to crash it all?" these words were new to him, and he wondered what could mean.

"Isn't it obvious, Kyoko?" he said staring deeply into his eyes "I could be as angry at you as you are with me now" he smiled "Only a leak about this, and my whole career could be reduced to dust" her eyes showed worry and concern "I am an adult who's in love with a high school girl"

"Me?" she seemed to be surprised, didn't she know it already? Wasn't enough with the kiss?

"Yes, you" he said getting back her attention. And before she could say anything else, he kissed her once more, trying to show a more passionate self, just in case she would still be ignoring the facts.

**| Well, I didn't succeed at not making it sound cheesy as it is **

**I am sure that if this state ever happens in the manga: Ren confessing/kissing for real to Kyoko, Nakamura-sensei will punch us in the nose until we've cried out enough 'Kyaaaaaaaa's but I just didn't know how to approach it differently. Not going that fast and anticipating what might happen in the future that much.**

**I don't expect a fully romantic Ren or Kuon confessing. He has the gentelman figure, but when he's with Kyoko... that wouldn't just work out, that's why, after a lot of ideas, I decided for the bed one. It's weird how they manage to stay that long inside one bed, and he's not jumping on her, already... however, they have a relationship that can't be ignored that easily. I tried imagining how the things would go, even in such a forced scene for both characters. **

**Of course, there are a lot of things I haven't mentioned on the fic, but that can be considered as reasons why both characters can be this way in this situation.**

**Kyoko would need more time, I guess... but she's been thinking about Ren and only Ren for how long now? Even if it still looks forced, I guessed that in such a situation, she had to surrender to the obvious.**

**And, on the other hand, Ren has no clue about Kyoko's feelings, and he has behaved way too much until now (except for chapter 194) always taking back whatever move he dared to do on her... about time he pushed his feelings on her, even if she had replied with a no, he had to try it, right?**

**I'll leave a lot of things un-solved, please forgive me, but I don't want to mess it up more than I've already had **

**This is not the last chapter... but the next one might be it.**

**Thanx for keep on reading till the end,**

**Rei. |**


	25. 25-One last lesson

**| All right. This is one long chapter it here.**

**It took me 2 hours to get it all done. **

**It's different than the rest of the fic, since I rather had both visions of the moment than waste more chapters into explaining things separately.**

**You have a line to divide which are Kyoko's and which are Ren/Kuon's points of view. I'll see you at the end of the chapter, in another free-talk piece (don't want to spoil it)**

**Rei | **

Kyoko Mogami parted from a second and more passionate kiss running out of breath. She had been confessed and kissed twice… but what was worrying her most, was that she had known all along that her senpai was in love with someone like her, but she hadn't even smelled that it could be actually her. After all the feelings he had caused her, from seeking his approval, to feeling lonely because she couldn't contact him, or the mixed emotions she had while being Setsu, she hadn't been able to puzzle out that he was already hinting so much at her. _All my excuses, led me into this…_

"You are not answering, Kyoko" she was awaken up from her own thoughts "Shall I take it as I am being rejected?" his eyes shadowed and she felt her heart throbbed. Now she realized that hurting him was one of her worst fears.

"I…" she lowered her sight "I don't know what I've done to be worth of this" she was being shy, but she actually felt out of place.

"I don't know it either" he replied easily "to be honest, whenever I look back, I cannot find the moment when I fell for you. I just find myself already lost in these feelings, and trying to deny them at all costs" she got back to stare him.

* * *

He wasn't able to tell when he had become so lost in her. Was it when he had seen her real talent for the first time? Or was it because he remembered the little girl that shone a light in his heart?

"Are you going to make a fool of myself? Or will you reply to me?" he needed to know, with Kyoko Mogami, he couldn't be sure of what her answer would be "Are you going to tell me that you're unable to love?" that was one of his feared answers "Or is it…" he had to grasp some courage to say it "Or are you still thinking about him?"

Kyoko's eyes opened wide "Him?" her face lightened like she had found a gold mine "All this time…" he had exposed himself "That night… You were jealous of Sho Fuwa?" he swallowed, not being brave enough to reply "You knew it was him calling?" his eyes were replying for his mouth, his serious expression showed how much jealous he was "I am sorry I didn't explain what you saw, properly, and I am sorry because Sho made me say things about you that I regretted as soon as those slipped out of my mouth" he knew. That jerk had told him everything what she had said.

* * *

"He knew, and I used despicable words to deny it. Would you forgive me?" she said looking at him with teary eyes. Kyoko was slowly accepting what was happening to her, but she hadn't answered to him yet.

"Only if you answer to me" he was still looking at her, with that evil gaze of the Emperor of the Night. Her whole body trembled.

"I tried so hard to cast these feelings away" Kyoko was opening her heart "I denied it so many times. I've been made fun before, and this time it was too deep and serious, I was afraid of what could I become…" her voice was shaky "I tried so hard to push them away, even after the president had told me that if I didn't overcome my inability to love, he would kick me out from LME forever"

"He told you that?" his face was shocked.

"He did" Kyoko wanted to finish what she wanted to say "Am I allowed to love you?" she finally said.

"What?" he laughed "That is not the question, Kyoko"

"Because I do" her whole face became red, it was enough of an embarrassment to be accepting her feelings, to welcome love back into her live, to be saying those words too "I love you. Not the figure of the gentleman Ren Tsuruga is, or the rascal you claim Kuon to be. I love the man that's lying beside me, the man that hated me for entering the showbiz with such despicable motives, the man that mentored but kept coming for my help because he was in trouble, and I hate the fact that I couldn't realize before that these feelings have nothing to do with the ones I had before…" he sealed her words with another kiss.

* * *

He had to kiss her again. Kyoko Mogami had confessed back in a weird way and after a long speech, but everything she had said had touched his heart to an unexpected level.

"We better get out of bed, Kyoko" he said as he parted once more from her lips "Otherwise, I can't promise I can hold myself any longer"

"Huh?" Kyoko was still too young to understand what he meant "Hold yourself from what?"

"You know…" This time, it was his face the one to turn red "You should know already, Kyoko. I am not the first man who's tempted by you"

"I don't really know" there she was, the innocent Mogami-san.

"You should know then" he said with a serious gaze "That Beagel weirdo, and Kijima-san with his clothes… and that punk, don't you see that Sho Fuwa is repenting himself so much already?"

"Kijima-san?" Kyoko was still looking too clueless "Wasn't I scolded enough about that matter, already? And Sho? He's only scared that I might accomplish what I declared"

"Let's get…" he couldn't stay there, lying face to face with her, but she stopped him now.

"I want to know" she was determined, indeed "I hate it when you don't explain things to me"

"I…" he was hesitating, even if the mischievous part of him wanted to play with her a little bit longer "I want to kiss you"

"You already kissed me. Three times" she said like she was a little kid doing her math.

"I want to kiss you in a different way" he was straight this time. Perhaps he needed to shake her innocence away for good "I want to kiss you and touch you" his gaze became deeper like he wanted to eat her "I want to touch you in places you wouldn't even allow me to look" she was red-faced again.

* * *

"Enough" Kyoko had finally understood why he wanted to get out from bed. However, something was keeping her from moving.

_He wants to… but… why am I feeling this weird? _

Kyoko's shattered innocence had let the doors open to a more mature her, a young woman still, but a woman who's been told she was loved, and a woman who loved back. Suddenly, all her suppressed feelings and emotions were coming into her.

"How that would be?" she dared to ask. And her senpai's eyes widened.

"Are you asking me to teach you?" he said with an amused tone.

"Aren't you my senpai? Isn't it your job to teach me and take care of me?" Kyoko surprised herself for being that brave.

"All right" he said. He approached her slowly, pulled her into another embrace, and reached her lips with his, but this time he pushed with his tongue, asking permission to enter her mouth. Kyoko was scared, but she was also curious. She opened her mouth to let his tongue explore it, and slowly, she started imitating the moves he was doing with it, entangling both tongues into a deeper and wetter kiss.

He kissed her for a long time, while his hands kept caressing her back "This" he whispered into her ear "Is just the beginning, Kyoko. Are you sure you want me to continue?"

"I do" she said trying to be confident.

His hands kept going while he kissed her neck. After a short while, his hands started reaching for her clothes, and Kyoko knew that he would undress her, she closed her eyes "This… this is embarrassing!"

"Then I'll stop" he said sounding disappointed but understanding.

* * *

"No, please" Kyoko's was running out of breath. He had decided not to continue, due to her embarrassment, but now she was telling him to go on "I want to know"

"In that case" he said still not touching her "There's something I need to get" of course, he needed condoms. It wasn't something he had planned, and he wasn't sure if Kyoko would let him go that far, but he used to carry a couple of condoms inside his wallet. Just because he used to be a man with a more active life when it concerned women, he had got the habit to always carry a couple of those with him. Even when after falling for Kyoko, he held no expectations of committing such act. He got his condoms and hid those to not scare her "I'm back"

"Will you… you know…" Kyoko was trying to ask for the obvious.

"Only if you want to" he said, understanding her novice fears. Coming to think of that, he had been so careless in his past, if he ended up making it with Kyoko, then that would be his first real time.

"I do" she said covering her face with her hands. He laughed. Kyoko was too shy, and he had already accomplished so much. He took her back, and resumed his kisses as an attempt to make her relax. He tried undressing her slowly, tricking her with kisses anytime he unbuttoned one of her shirt's buttons, and caressing her with so much care on the places he was discovering.

"You are so beautiful, Kyoko" he whispered before giving her another kiss "Do you understand that I want you to be mine and only mine?" Kuon's nature was indeed possessive, but he was too afraid that anyone could steal her before his eyes.

* * *

Kyoko couldn't believe that she was being told those words. She had pictured her senpai as someone out of reach, yet, there she was, under his gaze and his touch, being confessed that she was something he didn't intend to share.

"I am yours" she said as she had while being Setsu, but this time, she truly meant it.

He kept undressing her until leaving her only with her underwear on. She was still feeling too embarrassed, but her desire was growing wider, and she couldn't take her eyes away when he started unbuttoning his shirt. She had been so close to watch his bare chest so many times, but she had forgotten to watch. He was gorgeous.

He went back on top of hers after getting rid of his shirt and started kissing her body. From the neck, his lips and his tongue started going down the route to her breasts. She didn't dare to complain when he retired her bra, but she was extremely embarrassed by the fact he would see her naked. He focused on kissing both her breasts and teasing her with his mouth-sucking. Kyoko let escape a moan. She was so much embarrassed now, but her hunger of desire for him, allowed her to continue.

* * *

He licked her breasts, something he had never allowed himself to imagine. And she moaned so hard he felt the pleasure of being the first and the only one to explore that territory. He went back to her mouth, not daring to bring his tongue further, as this would be her first time, and kissed her deep while letting his right hand slip down to where her private parts resided. He could anticipate a complaint coming from her, saying she was too embarrassed to be touched down there, so he kept her silent with his deep kiss, while his fingers prepared the zone. Kyoko let another deep moan escape through his mouth. He parted just to stare at her face.

"This" he said "This is some kind of acting I don't want you to show anyone else but me" he said "Even if you get asked to do it, and you're promised not to be dirtied by the scene, I don't want you perform it. And even if there's no showing of the details, I want you to fake this, and only this" he said as a warning.

"I can say the same" she was saying between moans "I don't want Kuon touching anyone else but me, not like this, not Kuon not Ren Tsuruga" she dared to claim.

He kissed her once more, and then he got rid of her panties.

* * *

He had stated so much in so little time, but Kyoko had no intention to repeat such an act in front of anyone else. Even if she went to play a lover, she would never agree to shot such explicit scenes. But she also understood that he didn't want her using this as part of her training. But, how could she? No one could make her feel this way.

She was completely naked, and he was getting rid of his pants and his boxers. She knew it was the time.

He approached her quietly, kissed her with a soft kiss, and without her realizing, he had already started to enter her body.

_When did he?_ But Kyoko couldn't think any further. It was pain and it was pleasure, he kept doing her in so many different ways, yet, with so much passion she could felt how she melted like the ice-cream they had shared as the Heel siblings.

She felt loved, desired and wanted, and when she came for the first time in her life, she felt happy. He came afterwards, falling over her with another deep kiss "I love you Kyoko Mogami" he said whispering on her ear.

"I love you Kuon Hizuri, Ren Tsuruga, and I hate you for making me feel like this" she said "But I guess the love is bigger than the hatred" she added. Now it was her teasing him.

They would have to deal with so many things, but before they had to face with the truth, while had been granted the time to be away by their own president, they would spend a few hours cuddling and loving each other. Because they had been neglected enough already, and because they would have time to deal with whatever that was waiting for them later…

~The End~

**| Forgive the cheesyness... and I don't tend to be too explicit on sex scenes, is just not my thing. I know that people might be disappointed for me not recreating more into the scene, but when it comes to these scenes, I am not what people expect, I just need the story to get going and not loose too many time in recreating the pleasure.**

**And yes... when they end up cuddling, they shall discuss some more things... but this is the part where I wanted to finish the fic. I am already too hungry for chapter 195... I cannot keep making things up XD sorry. I don't even know if I ever be able to make a new fic for SB, after knowing some more details, perhaps? I don't really know.**

**I'll keep visiting the site, as a Reader, I already visit it. And whenever I come up with anything new, post it.**

**But, as I told before, my fics are always about idols, and the one I am currently writting is already being published somewhere else.**

**It's been a great experience trying to convey my needs on SB, and I've appreciated the feedback so much. I hope I can learn more through reading, I've been reading more in English lately.**

**And yes, I don't expect Kyoko and Ren making up right after conveying their feelings for each other, but this is a fic. Right? ;P**

**See ya'll**

**Rei | **


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